The "girls" and I flew into Virginia yesterday evening. It was a stressful morning with carting the dogs to the airline animal handler who escorted me to the ticket counter had the dogs "checked out" and then they were taken to security where TSA people inspected the kennels (one at a time and the dogs were taken out), what do they think I was shipping something other than those dogs? Then once they were given the go ahead to put them on the plane, I was escorted to security putting me somewhere up at the front then I walked thru with no incidents. I made it to the plane and verified three times that the girls were on the plane with me and away we came to Falls Church.
My next assignment will be to accept delivery of household goods on Tuesday and the Verizon FIOS people and then unpack it all. Wait a minute didn't I just finish that last week? Oh yea, that was packing it, now the real fun begins, eh? They say nothing is as joyful as a decorated home during the holidays! We will see when it is all done, okay?
My first days are going to be light as I try and recover from little or no sleep since last Friday (12/4) and then sleeping on a futon after the truck took my bed on Tuesday and no TV either! I will check in later in the week, this story isn't over, I haven't sung yet.
Hugs, Deb
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
December 1, how time flies!
Well all, it has been awhile since I last visited. I haven't had much new news until the last few days and I have been kind of waiting to see what my "clearance day" visit with the surgeon would bring. I think I told you that my oncologist signed off on me 11/5 and so then I was waiting for my surgeon to "sign off" which was yesterday, the last day of November. Wow, I cannot believe how this year has just whisked itself away yet I have had so many things going on.
To let you know my surgeon has "signed off" on me and that means that I am free to travel, move, flying or driving, lifting any amount of weight I am confident I can lift without damage to my "remodelled area". Which by the way is only just past Phase 1, I have a Phase 2 to go through? I suppose so, there is a small procedure that needs to be done to my remodelled area which includes cutting the scar tissue away from the latisimus muscle and then "it" should fall nicely. Although the surgeon is surprised that I have "healed" and dropped as well as I have in just 2 short months. Well, can you blame me I have had nothing else to do but heal well! At the time of Phase 2 I will also have a reduction on the left side so that I am then considered "balanced equally", because as some of you have seen, right now I am quite unbalanced! Oh, and the chest is unbalanced as well! Ha Ha
I am trying to tie up loose ends here in Temecula, CA as we have found a home to rent in the McLean Virginia area. I cannot believe that we are actually moving from one home to another, we never have. We have always moved from the house we were living in to storage for several reasons, most of them because Craig couldn't or wouldn't like the house I picked out for him, so this time I got smart and had him pick it and he did a marvelous job! Well, from the pictures anyway, I will let you know in a couple of weeks, but I think he did good!
The movers are pulling in to the driveway on Monday morning and then I will be leaving on Thursday, the 10th of December for the cold seasons. Did you catch that I am quasi happy and then not. Too many people to say farewell to and not enough time to do it. I will be sending out our Christmas letter this week and it has all the new particulars and the old. We will still have our email with Verizon, so that will remain the same, our cell phones are the same for now.
I hosted my last Holiday Cookie Exchange affair in the Temecula area, I will certainly miss my neighbors, they are all such a hoot and we have a great street of people, my friends from the High school volunteer posts were there, my chums/sisters were there (well actually they were the ones that talked me into having one last one) and some friends from other places we have called home throughout the years. A new state we will now call home and hopefully find friends and neighbors like we have here. I don't know do I appear like a shrinking flower to any of you?
Take care and have a wonderful holiday season, I will be in touch when I land in the DC area.
Hugs, Deb
To let you know my surgeon has "signed off" on me and that means that I am free to travel, move, flying or driving, lifting any amount of weight I am confident I can lift without damage to my "remodelled area". Which by the way is only just past Phase 1, I have a Phase 2 to go through? I suppose so, there is a small procedure that needs to be done to my remodelled area which includes cutting the scar tissue away from the latisimus muscle and then "it" should fall nicely. Although the surgeon is surprised that I have "healed" and dropped as well as I have in just 2 short months. Well, can you blame me I have had nothing else to do but heal well! At the time of Phase 2 I will also have a reduction on the left side so that I am then considered "balanced equally", because as some of you have seen, right now I am quite unbalanced! Oh, and the chest is unbalanced as well! Ha Ha
I am trying to tie up loose ends here in Temecula, CA as we have found a home to rent in the McLean Virginia area. I cannot believe that we are actually moving from one home to another, we never have. We have always moved from the house we were living in to storage for several reasons, most of them because Craig couldn't or wouldn't like the house I picked out for him, so this time I got smart and had him pick it and he did a marvelous job! Well, from the pictures anyway, I will let you know in a couple of weeks, but I think he did good!
The movers are pulling in to the driveway on Monday morning and then I will be leaving on Thursday, the 10th of December for the cold seasons. Did you catch that I am quasi happy and then not. Too many people to say farewell to and not enough time to do it. I will be sending out our Christmas letter this week and it has all the new particulars and the old. We will still have our email with Verizon, so that will remain the same, our cell phones are the same for now.
I hosted my last Holiday Cookie Exchange affair in the Temecula area, I will certainly miss my neighbors, they are all such a hoot and we have a great street of people, my friends from the High school volunteer posts were there, my chums/sisters were there (well actually they were the ones that talked me into having one last one) and some friends from other places we have called home throughout the years. A new state we will now call home and hopefully find friends and neighbors like we have here. I don't know do I appear like a shrinking flower to any of you?
Take care and have a wonderful holiday season, I will be in touch when I land in the DC area.
Hugs, Deb
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Ah, the hair does grow back!
Hello all,
I have changed my picture as I have grown enough hair back on my head and I might add my eyebrows are back now too! I thought it was time to show my new look, more white, a lot of salt and pepper but dark eyebrows as well. I didn't realize that I had lost hair on my arms as well until this new growth "sprung up" and is wildly growing. The things that excite us when we are showing signs of "normal healthiness".
It has been over two weeks since the last drain was taken out and no signs of "fluid buildup" although they did forewarn me it could be three weeks. I had my last visit with the oncologist (until I return for the six month appt) next year and he said he didn't think that there was any fluid building up in fact he told me that my surgeon "did very well by me". He also said that he thought I had "come through these last few months very well", well that made me feel very good. I thanked him and then said how are you supposed to come out of this? I feel again, very blessed to have my faith in God that He carried me through this and the help and prayers of my family, friends and their friends. We don't go through trials in our lives without faith, for without that what do we have?
I am feeling good these days, still my wild sense of humor, and somewhat busy schedule, my thoughts wander to what is next on the plate, and also my dread as the next thing is moving and that is not as appealing as it may sound, my family and too dear of friends here too hard to say goodbye so as always I will say "you just have another place to visit!" I still need to see the surgeon before I depart the area for clearance to drive, etc so you haven't heard the last of me...
Hugs, Deb
I have changed my picture as I have grown enough hair back on my head and I might add my eyebrows are back now too! I thought it was time to show my new look, more white, a lot of salt and pepper but dark eyebrows as well. I didn't realize that I had lost hair on my arms as well until this new growth "sprung up" and is wildly growing. The things that excite us when we are showing signs of "normal healthiness".
It has been over two weeks since the last drain was taken out and no signs of "fluid buildup" although they did forewarn me it could be three weeks. I had my last visit with the oncologist (until I return for the six month appt) next year and he said he didn't think that there was any fluid building up in fact he told me that my surgeon "did very well by me". He also said that he thought I had "come through these last few months very well", well that made me feel very good. I thanked him and then said how are you supposed to come out of this? I feel again, very blessed to have my faith in God that He carried me through this and the help and prayers of my family, friends and their friends. We don't go through trials in our lives without faith, for without that what do we have?
I am feeling good these days, still my wild sense of humor, and somewhat busy schedule, my thoughts wander to what is next on the plate, and also my dread as the next thing is moving and that is not as appealing as it may sound, my family and too dear of friends here too hard to say goodbye so as always I will say "you just have another place to visit!" I still need to see the surgeon before I depart the area for clearance to drive, etc so you haven't heard the last of me...
Hugs, Deb
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Here's the good news and not so good news.
Good News: All drains have been removed.
Not so Good News: The last drain became infected so I am now on antibiotics for 2 weeks and have to watch for "fluid buildup". If there is fluid build up then they have to aspirate it with a needle and syringe. Looking forward to that!
Hey, but the cancer is gone, the drains are gone, the breast is gone oh wait I have a new one, it's healing into a nice shape. And I have to adjust to not wearing an underwire on that side. I get to wreck all my old bras on the right side. Destruction that is what I want to do now. Is this too much information for you? Hopefully not, as now I am feeling a bit cheeky and want to let off some steam. I am feeling not quite so tethered to myself and want to run or at least go for long walks but not yet, not until the site closes and we see no collection of fluid. The nurse said I would hear it! Can you imagine? Hearing fluid sloshing around in your own body.
What fun things to look forward to or not, I think the drain was just ready to come out and that there isn't going to be any buildup and I will be fine. Okay? Those are the rose colored glasses I am looking out of today.
Hugs, Deb
Not so Good News: The last drain became infected so I am now on antibiotics for 2 weeks and have to watch for "fluid buildup". If there is fluid build up then they have to aspirate it with a needle and syringe. Looking forward to that!
Hey, but the cancer is gone, the drains are gone, the breast is gone oh wait I have a new one, it's healing into a nice shape. And I have to adjust to not wearing an underwire on that side. I get to wreck all my old bras on the right side. Destruction that is what I want to do now. Is this too much information for you? Hopefully not, as now I am feeling a bit cheeky and want to let off some steam. I am feeling not quite so tethered to myself and want to run or at least go for long walks but not yet, not until the site closes and we see no collection of fluid. The nurse said I would hear it! Can you imagine? Hearing fluid sloshing around in your own body.
What fun things to look forward to or not, I think the drain was just ready to come out and that there isn't going to be any buildup and I will be fine. Okay? Those are the rose colored glasses I am looking out of today.
Hugs, Deb
Friday, October 16, 2009
Another banner day!
I drove down to UCSD on Wednesday and had two of my drain friends removed. My favorite word for them are appendages, but said goodbye to 2 of them so I am working on getting the last one removed by the beginning of next week. Then I am told I will feel much more free. Free for what is what I ask? I am continuing to heal and make great strides in my recovery which is good but the "burning" sensation is still noticeable. Anyone else have that when you had a mastectomy? It's just a burning feeling around the incision area. Not really painful just noticeable, then I also get chills too. Okay too much info, eh?
I am on a good note today, feeling more like myself and one of my friends told me last night that I look healthier. I can only imagine what those chemo drugs do to your system so I am glad to be feeling better. I really have had a full year of trying to get myself back into good health, so next year I would imagine that I will be "dwelling" in it.
That's all for now, take care and keep smiling.
Hugs, Deb
I am on a good note today, feeling more like myself and one of my friends told me last night that I look healthier. I can only imagine what those chemo drugs do to your system so I am glad to be feeling better. I really have had a full year of trying to get myself back into good health, so next year I would imagine that I will be "dwelling" in it.
That's all for now, take care and keep smiling.
Hugs, Deb
Monday, October 12, 2009
For I know the plans I have for you, Jerimiah 29:11
An update for all of you:
Craig went back to work in VA on 9/29 and I met with the surgeon on 10/5. The surgeon was pleased with my mending/healing and has given me little limitations, no strong exercise, no lifting more than 10 pounds, generally still take it easy as the drains are still in and hopefully will be removed Mon but probably Tuesday. They are bothersome but they are going down in volume (have to be at 30 or less in a 24 hour period to have them removed) so just playing a waiting game at this point. Able to drive and my mom and sister went home last Mon (10/5) after the surgeon said it was okay that I was left alone.
I visited with the oncologist on Thurs, the and he was quite pleased with the pathology report and has said it was as good as it gets. Basically the cancer was contained in the tumor which had shrunk in half from the chemotherapy and was not involved in my vascular, lymph, or other systems. He does have me on Aromasin (hormone inhibitor) for the next 3 to 5 years and I will see him on the 5th of November to discuss the long range plan for care and follow up. I don’t have to have anymore chemotherapy, Yea!
I did have quite a week last week with doctor’s visits and other functions to attend that I kind of took to my bed (or couch) Thurs evening and all day Friday. I did receive on Friday the operative report and the updated reports from the pathologist, no surprises I am still Estrogen and Progesterone positive and HER2 neg so that is good. It is kind of surreal reading the operative reports about what they did to you but then I find them interesting as well so it gives me a better idea of what transpired and really how careful I need to be with my right side for awhile.
Thanks again for keeping in touch whether it be by phone, email, facebook, or in thought and spirit. We are all busy and I don’t want any of you to feel bad for not calling or stopping by, I am just glad that I am here to tell it, AGAIN. Yes, they couldn’t knock out that stubborn streak of mine or my I’ll get you this time attitude towards this crummy disease.
Hugs, Deb
Craig went back to work in VA on 9/29 and I met with the surgeon on 10/5. The surgeon was pleased with my mending/healing and has given me little limitations, no strong exercise, no lifting more than 10 pounds, generally still take it easy as the drains are still in and hopefully will be removed Mon but probably Tuesday. They are bothersome but they are going down in volume (have to be at 30 or less in a 24 hour period to have them removed) so just playing a waiting game at this point. Able to drive and my mom and sister went home last Mon (10/5) after the surgeon said it was okay that I was left alone.
I visited with the oncologist on Thurs, the and he was quite pleased with the pathology report and has said it was as good as it gets. Basically the cancer was contained in the tumor which had shrunk in half from the chemotherapy and was not involved in my vascular, lymph, or other systems. He does have me on Aromasin (hormone inhibitor) for the next 3 to 5 years and I will see him on the 5th of November to discuss the long range plan for care and follow up. I don’t have to have anymore chemotherapy, Yea!
I did have quite a week last week with doctor’s visits and other functions to attend that I kind of took to my bed (or couch) Thurs evening and all day Friday. I did receive on Friday the operative report and the updated reports from the pathologist, no surprises I am still Estrogen and Progesterone positive and HER2 neg so that is good. It is kind of surreal reading the operative reports about what they did to you but then I find them interesting as well so it gives me a better idea of what transpired and really how careful I need to be with my right side for awhile.
Thanks again for keeping in touch whether it be by phone, email, facebook, or in thought and spirit. We are all busy and I don’t want any of you to feel bad for not calling or stopping by, I am just glad that I am here to tell it, AGAIN. Yes, they couldn’t knock out that stubborn streak of mine or my I’ll get you this time attitude towards this crummy disease.
Hugs, Deb
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Some of the reports are in:
The Pathology report was received last Thursday but I wanted to wait until I had spoken with the surgeon and the oncologist which was this week. The long awaited MRI report is being faxed to me this afternoon and the updated estrogen/progesterone report. The information on those is the same as the original biopsy, ERP positive and HER-2 negative. Not sure about the MRI but I know that the left side is clean per all other reports and comparisons.
The surgeon said I was healing nicely and still I had to "take it easy" as the drains were still not out and I am still healing. She said she was pleased with the Path report but would defer to the oncologist. I will see her at least one more time before I leave the area and then I will be back sometime in the spring to have her "finish me up". You know the breast reduction on the other side and balancing me out.
The oncologist couldn't have been happier with the reports as he was thrilled that the tumor was much smaller than originally measured and there wasn't any other area involved, lymphatic, vascular, etc. So I got a "clean bill" from him and no more chemotherapy but with the understanding that I would have to stay on the hormone inhibitor(aromasin) for 3 to 5 years. I will see him on Nov 5 and then we will have a plan for the rest of my care.
So all in all it was a good week, albeit a busy one for me driving to La Jolla on Mon; luncheon on Tues; breakfast on Weds and driving to LAX in the evening and then to Orange today and on to Riverside then home. I did not drive today, Craig did, but I was awakened at 5 AM with some soreness in the chest area and it has intensified throughout the day so my orders are now to rest and rest and more rest. I need it, I am tired.
Wanted to update you all and send my very best to you all. Thanks again for keeping up with me and my journey.
Hugs, Deb
The surgeon said I was healing nicely and still I had to "take it easy" as the drains were still not out and I am still healing. She said she was pleased with the Path report but would defer to the oncologist. I will see her at least one more time before I leave the area and then I will be back sometime in the spring to have her "finish me up". You know the breast reduction on the other side and balancing me out.
The oncologist couldn't have been happier with the reports as he was thrilled that the tumor was much smaller than originally measured and there wasn't any other area involved, lymphatic, vascular, etc. So I got a "clean bill" from him and no more chemotherapy but with the understanding that I would have to stay on the hormone inhibitor(aromasin) for 3 to 5 years. I will see him on Nov 5 and then we will have a plan for the rest of my care.
So all in all it was a good week, albeit a busy one for me driving to La Jolla on Mon; luncheon on Tues; breakfast on Weds and driving to LAX in the evening and then to Orange today and on to Riverside then home. I did not drive today, Craig did, but I was awakened at 5 AM with some soreness in the chest area and it has intensified throughout the day so my orders are now to rest and rest and more rest. I need it, I am tired.
Wanted to update you all and send my very best to you all. Thanks again for keeping up with me and my journey.
Hugs, Deb
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Another day has passed.
Hi there!
Today is Thursday, the 1st of October. Can't believe that nine full months has passed on this great and challenging year. I am doing okay today, not doing a lot, resting, regaining strength although no one lets me do anything so strength training is almost nothing. I am getting caught up on all the new season premiers shows and some new ones, reading the 4 books that I had started during the summer of chemotherapy and patiently awaiting the pathology reports. Patiently? I just don't want this to end up like the completed MRI report which I have never seen to date. I am just putting that out there that I want to see in writing that all my adventures of the summer were successful. I know in my heart they were but in writing, that's the ticket.
So I am home, in my own comfort zone, in my own bed, with my mom and my sister here for me. I am listening to everyone and not doing ANYTHING, but that does get very old very quickly. So I sign on to facebook or here to let off a little steam! Craig is back in the DC area and Kevin decided that he does enjoy being at Georgetown which is good and now he is trying to juggle his classes and work and a social life, what did they go to college for? Brian is busy with Architecture classes/studios and his work so life is very busy for all of them and here I sit healing. Doesn't make it any less lonesome and I do have my "down" times frequently but every once in awhile someone pops in and brightens my day so if you are in the neighborhood, stop by and say hello.
I am so appreciative of all of your prayers and thoughts, thanks so much,
Deb
Today is Thursday, the 1st of October. Can't believe that nine full months has passed on this great and challenging year. I am doing okay today, not doing a lot, resting, regaining strength although no one lets me do anything so strength training is almost nothing. I am getting caught up on all the new season premiers shows and some new ones, reading the 4 books that I had started during the summer of chemotherapy and patiently awaiting the pathology reports. Patiently? I just don't want this to end up like the completed MRI report which I have never seen to date. I am just putting that out there that I want to see in writing that all my adventures of the summer were successful. I know in my heart they were but in writing, that's the ticket.
So I am home, in my own comfort zone, in my own bed, with my mom and my sister here for me. I am listening to everyone and not doing ANYTHING, but that does get very old very quickly. So I sign on to facebook or here to let off a little steam! Craig is back in the DC area and Kevin decided that he does enjoy being at Georgetown which is good and now he is trying to juggle his classes and work and a social life, what did they go to college for? Brian is busy with Architecture classes/studios and his work so life is very busy for all of them and here I sit healing. Doesn't make it any less lonesome and I do have my "down" times frequently but every once in awhile someone pops in and brightens my day so if you are in the neighborhood, stop by and say hello.
I am so appreciative of all of your prayers and thoughts, thanks so much,
Deb
Monday, September 28, 2009
I know that it is only temporary, but...
Today is Monday, Sept 28, 2009, the day I was allowed to start showering. Yea! I did, it took me about an hour to get cleaned up for the day and I will say that I did do quite well. No pain, took my time, dressed myself with some help from my mom and I felt pretty good afterwards. I had some breakfast, now sitting and watching The View with their Hot Topics of the day.
I am taking the time to heal, now it's time to just sit and relax? Do I do that? I am trying, I have some books and I have my computer to visit you all with so keep the emails, notes, prayers and good thoughts coming I do appreciate them. Actually last night I felt my body get tired, as I was trying to describe it I hadn't been able to relax and sleep until last night. The actual "let down" feeling was noticeable and it made me think that maybe that feeling or adrenaline push is what keeps the "pain" away from me. Oh I must be getting smarter in my old age and many surgeries.
I am waiting now for the pathology reports and what that information will bring. Another chapter finished and another one to begin. Take care hugs,
Deb
I am taking the time to heal, now it's time to just sit and relax? Do I do that? I am trying, I have some books and I have my computer to visit you all with so keep the emails, notes, prayers and good thoughts coming I do appreciate them. Actually last night I felt my body get tired, as I was trying to describe it I hadn't been able to relax and sleep until last night. The actual "let down" feeling was noticeable and it made me think that maybe that feeling or adrenaline push is what keeps the "pain" away from me. Oh I must be getting smarter in my old age and many surgeries.
I am waiting now for the pathology reports and what that information will bring. Another chapter finished and another one to begin. Take care hugs,
Deb
Saturday, September 26, 2009
It's all done, now the "healing" begins.
Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. I came through the surgery quite well and no surprises were there. The anesthesiologists were right on top of my meds all thru the 5 1/2 hour procedure as I awoke with no side effects and was wanting to get up and walk at 4 in the morning. The nurses asked me to wait awhile until they had orders for me to get up at least.
The surprise came the next day when the surgeon was continually told that I was up and around the 3rd floor a number of times and could actually handle my own drains. She said I was one of two patients that she had that "bounced back" like I did. My surgeon visited me last evening and agreed to release me as long as I rested and didn't believe that I was out of the woods. Well at noon I was finally released with those orders, the residents had forgotten to write the order when they were making rounds. So again communication becomes an issue with me towards the medical center. I do have a little pain with coughing which is to be expected although it doesn't debilitate me justs make me hold my side. Tylenol has been helping although tomorrow I get motrin and then I will be more relaxed. Yes I have done this with very little pain medicines.
As you can see I am back up and running a little anyway, I have a little energy and am feeling pretty good today but I am going to nap now so I will say ttfn.
Hugs, Deb
The surprise came the next day when the surgeon was continually told that I was up and around the 3rd floor a number of times and could actually handle my own drains. She said I was one of two patients that she had that "bounced back" like I did. My surgeon visited me last evening and agreed to release me as long as I rested and didn't believe that I was out of the woods. Well at noon I was finally released with those orders, the residents had forgotten to write the order when they were making rounds. So again communication becomes an issue with me towards the medical center. I do have a little pain with coughing which is to be expected although it doesn't debilitate me justs make me hold my side. Tylenol has been helping although tomorrow I get motrin and then I will be more relaxed. Yes I have done this with very little pain medicines.
As you can see I am back up and running a little anyway, I have a little energy and am feeling pretty good today but I am going to nap now so I will say ttfn.
Hugs, Deb
Thursday, September 24, 2009
And it's D day.
I am not sure what my feelings are today. Anxious as I don't think anyone LIKES to have surgery; ambivalence as I just want the procedure to be done; a little anger because I contend with this disease again. But then I am reminded of Philippians 4:8 to think on all things true, positive and good so now I feel comforted by all of your thoughts and prayers they help me tremendously; blessed to have so many of you thinking of me today; glad this day has arrived and I will be able to after today put this disease back where it belongs, in the "history" category; thankful for my faith.
We will talk tomorrow, my story is not over just taking an intermission!
Hugs, Deb
We will talk tomorrow, my story is not over just taking an intermission!
Hugs, Deb
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Do you know what happens when you assume?
Yesterday was my day for doctor visits or so I thought or was led to believe. There is this little procedure that the surgeon's office forgot to explain; that when you "see the anesthesiologist" you are actually seeing 4 other people and it is a Pre-operative visit! That would have been nice to know.
When the appointments were made, I even questioned why such a long time to speak with the anesthesiologist and she said that was "kind of normal", Yeh when you have to have an EKG, a history and physical, a visit from Patient Services, a nurse that needs your Blood pressure and a "chat" with the anesthesiologist who wants to tell you about the "planned day" and also hear any concerns you might have. I had a few, like you might want to know that I stop breathing when I am in the recovery room! He did think that was important, I did tell him that other Anesthetists were educated on my sensitivity first hand, as the old adage states "alls well that ends well". After going over my story 4 separate times and with many questions one of the health care providers wondered what brought on the tears as I had just been laughing and making jokes? Well we were all tearing up, I explained that although this had been fun it was quite exhausting to rehash the past 5 months 4 separate times to 4 separate people and that most of these questions would or were answered on my medical history sheet that I had provided them (it was there buried in all their little paperwork, who said technology is alive and working efficiently?). After a somewhat practiced statement of it's good to get your emotions out instead of keeping them inward(she didn't know I was a Gardner) I was released to my surgeon's appointment.
.
This visit was more positive as I learned that I had dropped another two pounds (yes I know it's a hell of a weight loss program) that bringing my total drop to date of 11 pounds. Yes keep it going! The surgeon's surgical nurse (her name is Debbie too) went over (finally) the results of the MRI, the MRI that I had done there on 8/20/09 showed no involvement of the left side, so that's good news. The reason for the delay in giving me these results arose due to the "comparison" or original MRI that was done on 8/29/07, it was some kind of random slides that didn't make sense to their radiologist so instead of stating that to his assistant or anyone so that they could call me, nothing was said until yesterday afternoon as I was sitting there. As some of you know that will be taken care of this Friday as I visit the Orange Imaging Center and offer some constructive criticism on what they sent to UCSD. A clinical trials research student came in and asked if I wanted to be part of a study that was trying to determine what actually causes this disease (I have a lot of adjectives but it's better if I just say disease) and I agreed so she needed blood, urine and tissue, I told her she needed to wait on the tissue as I wasn't ready to give that up today. LOL The surgical nurse Debbie gave me a really nice notebook on the implant that I was getting(hey that's where the pharmaceutical companies spend their money on stupid books in a great presentation to explain nothing) and asked me sign a disclaimer regarding the "small implant", after reading 8 different ways that it could "make problems for me in the future" I said I am not sure I want that in there. Considering that I will have a serial number for the rest of my life and the "maybe problems" why do that? Well they explained, they really have never had any problems with Allergan implants in the past but they are required to give you this information. Yes I know the requirement and the laws to protect all companies but really does your product work or not? There I have said it why is it that we as a nation or government feel the need to constantly disclaim so as to not feel accountable if something goes wrong? Oh I digress...
Back to me and my upcoming "event". I am feeling overwhelmed: at the surgery (it's an 8 hour procedure); for the recovery which some say will be painful some say you really won't feel anything as you will be numb for quite a while; (yea my right arm in some places is still numb after 10 years), for the thoughts of getting this home packed up and shipped off back east (I know that a lot of you have stretched out your arms and more than willing to help, don't you worry you will be called upon). I feel blessed: that so many of you have sent prayers, thoughts and good wishes as well as your offers to do whatever whenever for me and my family. This is what I will dwell over, not the cancer for to do that gives it validity. Cancer has no valid place in my life or my body or my mind. For that matter cancer is but a small speck and if we keep that in it's place we will be better people for that as diseases/illnesses do not "own" us, we are allowed to detach ourselves from them.
For myself, I lean on the Lord for strength, peace, comfort and healing and any other need I can't think of right now. Thanks again for your support,
Hugs, Deb
When the appointments were made, I even questioned why such a long time to speak with the anesthesiologist and she said that was "kind of normal", Yeh when you have to have an EKG, a history and physical, a visit from Patient Services, a nurse that needs your Blood pressure and a "chat" with the anesthesiologist who wants to tell you about the "planned day" and also hear any concerns you might have. I had a few, like you might want to know that I stop breathing when I am in the recovery room! He did think that was important, I did tell him that other Anesthetists were educated on my sensitivity first hand, as the old adage states "alls well that ends well". After going over my story 4 separate times and with many questions one of the health care providers wondered what brought on the tears as I had just been laughing and making jokes? Well we were all tearing up, I explained that although this had been fun it was quite exhausting to rehash the past 5 months 4 separate times to 4 separate people and that most of these questions would or were answered on my medical history sheet that I had provided them (it was there buried in all their little paperwork, who said technology is alive and working efficiently?). After a somewhat practiced statement of it's good to get your emotions out instead of keeping them inward(she didn't know I was a Gardner) I was released to my surgeon's appointment.
.
This visit was more positive as I learned that I had dropped another two pounds (yes I know it's a hell of a weight loss program) that bringing my total drop to date of 11 pounds. Yes keep it going! The surgeon's surgical nurse (her name is Debbie too) went over (finally) the results of the MRI, the MRI that I had done there on 8/20/09 showed no involvement of the left side, so that's good news. The reason for the delay in giving me these results arose due to the "comparison" or original MRI that was done on 8/29/07, it was some kind of random slides that didn't make sense to their radiologist so instead of stating that to his assistant or anyone so that they could call me, nothing was said until yesterday afternoon as I was sitting there. As some of you know that will be taken care of this Friday as I visit the Orange Imaging Center and offer some constructive criticism on what they sent to UCSD. A clinical trials research student came in and asked if I wanted to be part of a study that was trying to determine what actually causes this disease (I have a lot of adjectives but it's better if I just say disease) and I agreed so she needed blood, urine and tissue, I told her she needed to wait on the tissue as I wasn't ready to give that up today. LOL The surgical nurse Debbie gave me a really nice notebook on the implant that I was getting(hey that's where the pharmaceutical companies spend their money on stupid books in a great presentation to explain nothing) and asked me sign a disclaimer regarding the "small implant", after reading 8 different ways that it could "make problems for me in the future" I said I am not sure I want that in there. Considering that I will have a serial number for the rest of my life and the "maybe problems" why do that? Well they explained, they really have never had any problems with Allergan implants in the past but they are required to give you this information. Yes I know the requirement and the laws to protect all companies but really does your product work or not? There I have said it why is it that we as a nation or government feel the need to constantly disclaim so as to not feel accountable if something goes wrong? Oh I digress...
Back to me and my upcoming "event". I am feeling overwhelmed: at the surgery (it's an 8 hour procedure); for the recovery which some say will be painful some say you really won't feel anything as you will be numb for quite a while; (yea my right arm in some places is still numb after 10 years), for the thoughts of getting this home packed up and shipped off back east (I know that a lot of you have stretched out your arms and more than willing to help, don't you worry you will be called upon). I feel blessed: that so many of you have sent prayers, thoughts and good wishes as well as your offers to do whatever whenever for me and my family. This is what I will dwell over, not the cancer for to do that gives it validity. Cancer has no valid place in my life or my body or my mind. For that matter cancer is but a small speck and if we keep that in it's place we will be better people for that as diseases/illnesses do not "own" us, we are allowed to detach ourselves from them.
For myself, I lean on the Lord for strength, peace, comfort and healing and any other need I can't think of right now. Thanks again for your support,
Hugs, Deb
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Keeping up to keep up!
Hi all,
I am doing fine these days just a little muscle soreness which I figured out might be from the Aromasin, an oral ERP inhibitor like Rimidex or Femara. I guess it has the least amount of side effects so a little soreness isn't much to whine about. They put me on that as my surgery is a little outside the normal window (8 weeks from the last chemotherapy session). This drug is to control or inhibit any cancer growth in the cells, we'll see if it does the trick I just didn't want another chemo session as I was so far out that I was beginning to "taste" again. That metallic taste has finally left my mouth so I am beginning to enjoy food again, but not too much.
So to spend the days I am going through closets, cupboards and even cookbooks to whittle down our moving weight and of course every few years you need to "glean the supplies" for extra baggage. I am not accomplishing by myself as I still can't lift but 10 pounds so my friends, sisters have happily volunteered to do the purging for me. It's a release to sit and "that stays or that goes".
My pre-op appointments start next week (9/16), one with the surgeon and one with the anesthesiologist and then to a short pre-admission with the hospital. The surgery will be done at UCSD Thornton Hospital. The surgery is 9/24 at 12:30PM.
That's all for now, thank you all for being such loyal friends and family checking in every so often.
Hugs, Deb
I am doing fine these days just a little muscle soreness which I figured out might be from the Aromasin, an oral ERP inhibitor like Rimidex or Femara. I guess it has the least amount of side effects so a little soreness isn't much to whine about. They put me on that as my surgery is a little outside the normal window (8 weeks from the last chemotherapy session). This drug is to control or inhibit any cancer growth in the cells, we'll see if it does the trick I just didn't want another chemo session as I was so far out that I was beginning to "taste" again. That metallic taste has finally left my mouth so I am beginning to enjoy food again, but not too much.
So to spend the days I am going through closets, cupboards and even cookbooks to whittle down our moving weight and of course every few years you need to "glean the supplies" for extra baggage. I am not accomplishing by myself as I still can't lift but 10 pounds so my friends, sisters have happily volunteered to do the purging for me. It's a release to sit and "that stays or that goes".
My pre-op appointments start next week (9/16), one with the surgeon and one with the anesthesiologist and then to a short pre-admission with the hospital. The surgery will be done at UCSD Thornton Hospital. The surgery is 9/24 at 12:30PM.
That's all for now, thank you all for being such loyal friends and family checking in every so often.
Hugs, Deb
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The winds, they are a changing...
Hello. I think I'll just start at the end of the meeting with my second opinion so that you all will understand what transpired. I have cancelled my surgery with my surgeon in Orange, CA and have scheduled surgery with the second opinion surgeon for the end of next month. As I have said before I believe in getting second opinions especially if your gut is telling you something that you need to listen to and mine was, so I am glad that I met with her. The upshot of the two hour visit with the surgeon and her nurse (an hour for each which made us all feel that we were being listened to) was that I do have other options and it is necessary for me to take some time and think this through completely. Although my "window of surgery" is now 3 weeks gone they are confident that my wait time will be okay and I will be taking an adjuvant medicine in the meantime.
There are studies being done in San Diego county that aren't being done in Orange county that I could possibly be a candidate for, there is an immediate reconstruction option that would entail a long surgery time but healing and recovery would a good prognosis and therefore another viable option for me and let's not forget that just because I choose a bilateral mastectomy that I would be "taking care of the cancer permanently" and not have to be bothered with it anymore. Oh no not so! Realize that too many women today are going that route and not realizing that as in my case with so much history of cancer in the family that "it wouldn't pop up somewhere else in my system". Was that a horrible statement to hear? Not really because that is exactly why my oncologist did the chemotherapy first, was to arrest the growth and or movement of the cancer in my system to another place. I am glad that I went through the last 90 days for a good reason. Well, okay glad might not be the correct adjective to use but I am comfortable with the fact that my course was what it was and that I am on the upswing of my treatment plan. That being said, tomorrow I am having a MRI done to confirm that the left side is not involved and then from that point we (my surgeon and I) will finalize a surgical plan that is now tentatively scheduled for Sept 24. That gives me a good month to get stronger as in all honesty in speaking with the oncologist today we decided that my energy level is not ready for surgery and that what I have been experiencing these last 3 weeks was "probably" exacerbated by helping Brian move and such is also just what the chemo does to your body, you are or I am going to be fatigued and it will pass. So once again I need to listen to my body and just deal with it and know that eventually I will be able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling the wind knocked out me and I will be able to mix up a brownie mix without having to ask someone else to do the mixing. It is funny when you think about it and let the laughter in as the alternative is a waste of energy.
I am GLAD that I listened to my wee small voice and went this route as oddly enough so many people thought that I was going down a path that had a drastic solution, but were unwilling to tell me. Do you think they are afraid of me, why? What would give someone the idea that I might in total frustration lash out and verbally take their head off? Me? Of course not, oh okay have any of you seen me lately? I know that my reputation precedes me, but really I do listen to all of your comments, opinions, thoughts and prayers. And then as anyone of you will do, I do exactly what I want. No No just kidding. Keep tuned in for my updates, they are changing every day.
Hugs, Deb
There are studies being done in San Diego county that aren't being done in Orange county that I could possibly be a candidate for, there is an immediate reconstruction option that would entail a long surgery time but healing and recovery would a good prognosis and therefore another viable option for me and let's not forget that just because I choose a bilateral mastectomy that I would be "taking care of the cancer permanently" and not have to be bothered with it anymore. Oh no not so! Realize that too many women today are going that route and not realizing that as in my case with so much history of cancer in the family that "it wouldn't pop up somewhere else in my system". Was that a horrible statement to hear? Not really because that is exactly why my oncologist did the chemotherapy first, was to arrest the growth and or movement of the cancer in my system to another place. I am glad that I went through the last 90 days for a good reason. Well, okay glad might not be the correct adjective to use but I am comfortable with the fact that my course was what it was and that I am on the upswing of my treatment plan. That being said, tomorrow I am having a MRI done to confirm that the left side is not involved and then from that point we (my surgeon and I) will finalize a surgical plan that is now tentatively scheduled for Sept 24. That gives me a good month to get stronger as in all honesty in speaking with the oncologist today we decided that my energy level is not ready for surgery and that what I have been experiencing these last 3 weeks was "probably" exacerbated by helping Brian move and such is also just what the chemo does to your body, you are or I am going to be fatigued and it will pass. So once again I need to listen to my body and just deal with it and know that eventually I will be able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling the wind knocked out me and I will be able to mix up a brownie mix without having to ask someone else to do the mixing. It is funny when you think about it and let the laughter in as the alternative is a waste of energy.
I am GLAD that I listened to my wee small voice and went this route as oddly enough so many people thought that I was going down a path that had a drastic solution, but were unwilling to tell me. Do you think they are afraid of me, why? What would give someone the idea that I might in total frustration lash out and verbally take their head off? Me? Of course not, oh okay have any of you seen me lately? I know that my reputation precedes me, but really I do listen to all of your comments, opinions, thoughts and prayers. And then as anyone of you will do, I do exactly what I want. No No just kidding. Keep tuned in for my updates, they are changing every day.
Hugs, Deb
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Days of Whining and Dozing
Here it is day 11 of the last chemotherapy session and I am just now strong enough to sit and write something that makes some sense of the last week and a half. I will be the first to say it I DID TOO MUCH LAST WEEKEND. I got kicked in the behind and then some. I cannot believe how much strength I don't have or the reserves to regenerate. I am much better today at least today I was able to finish a potato salad that I started yesterday! It's amazing what your body goes through with this stuff in your system, some ups some downs but for the most part I have been very very blessed to not have the side effects that a lot of people do but WHEN I go down I plummet.
I didn't even trust myself to drive myself to my Weds morning breakfast this week, my body would take a shower and then stand there waiting for more energy to kick in to dry myself off, then I waited to put my clothes on and then had to lay down to recuperate so that I could go downstairs to eat something. It was unbelievable to have nothing, not only no gumption to do anything but even the mere thought of doing something was missing. I know I have touted a pretty clear, uneventful case history these past three months but I am here to tell you that I did fall and am just today able to pick myself up and move forward. That being said, I am not ready to step outside and walk the neighborhood much less 2 miles. Maybe that will happen next week, that is walking the neighborhood and then moving on to 1 mile and then 2 miles.
I am meeting with another surgeon for a second opinion as I believe in any surgery you must seek other professional's advice and understanding of the disease and it's treatment plan. So I will keep you all posted on that visit which happens next Tues, the 18th. Again, thanks so much for your posts, comments, emails, and especially prayers, I truly cherish them all.
Hugs, Deb
I didn't even trust myself to drive myself to my Weds morning breakfast this week, my body would take a shower and then stand there waiting for more energy to kick in to dry myself off, then I waited to put my clothes on and then had to lay down to recuperate so that I could go downstairs to eat something. It was unbelievable to have nothing, not only no gumption to do anything but even the mere thought of doing something was missing. I know I have touted a pretty clear, uneventful case history these past three months but I am here to tell you that I did fall and am just today able to pick myself up and move forward. That being said, I am not ready to step outside and walk the neighborhood much less 2 miles. Maybe that will happen next week, that is walking the neighborhood and then moving on to 1 mile and then 2 miles.
I am meeting with another surgeon for a second opinion as I believe in any surgery you must seek other professional's advice and understanding of the disease and it's treatment plan. So I will keep you all posted on that visit which happens next Tues, the 18th. Again, thanks so much for your posts, comments, emails, and especially prayers, I truly cherish them all.
Hugs, Deb
Sunday, August 2, 2009
And the "worst" is over...
Everyone likes to believe that the bad is in the past. It is, sort of the chemo/drugs have been infused, now we wait for the drugs to go through the system and the recovery to process. It sounds simple, eh? Well I am feeling pretty good, I helped Brian move this past weekend, cleaning up his old apartment and cleaned into his new one. I did surprise myself that I just don't have the energy that I used to, that it takes some time to build up reserves again and I am glad to take the time to do this. Just rest and regenerate my strength.
Now that the chemotherapy is done, we move on to the surgery step. That is scheduled for the end of August. I am in the process of making sure that everything is in order for that process, will continue to keep you posted on that subject later in the month.
For now, know how much I have appreciated your comments, prayers, posts, and good wishes. I am recuperating well and I truly appreciate all of you.
Hugs, Deb
Now that the chemotherapy is done, we move on to the surgery step. That is scheduled for the end of August. I am in the process of making sure that everything is in order for that process, will continue to keep you posted on that subject later in the month.
For now, know how much I have appreciated your comments, prayers, posts, and good wishes. I am recuperating well and I truly appreciate all of you.
Hugs, Deb
Sunday, July 26, 2009
If you think you get away totally with anything...you are mistaken
Hello all.
I know it's been a week since I last updated but actually nothing new had gone on so was just waiting for the next chemo but something new came up. I got a huge head cold due to the constant running of air conditioning in the house and it being 100 degrees here so not a lot of outside activity but a lot of indoor and cold air on my bald head and therefore a big cold. Yesterday I topped the thermometer at 101.4 which came down quickly with fluids and Tylenol. I think it has broken today but not taking any chances and still laying low, didn't even try for church today as a shower starting the dishwasher and getting myself cleaned up and looking presentable (for anyone that wants to visit, hint) was enough for now.
I am later today going to run out and get a couple of things but for the past three months for this to be the only weekend that my son, Kevin says "you really do look sick" I guess that's oka
y. What did he think I was before? Oh, he did say the only way he could tell that "anything was wrong with me was the fact that I had no hair"! Really? Is he kidding? Couldn't he tell because I wasn't making dinner; or walking the dogs everyday; or on his back about keeping his room straightened up? Really there were other signs, they (all 3 of them) don't seem to have the "eye" of perception. Yes, my sense of humor remains!
I will sign off for now, I await this weeks' last chemo treatment, the talk with the surgeon and "what's next?" scenario. I will let you know when I do...
Hugs, Deb
I know it's been a week since I last updated but actually nothing new had gone on so was just waiting for the next chemo but something new came up. I got a huge head cold due to the constant running of air conditioning in the house and it being 100 degrees here so not a lot of outside activity but a lot of indoor and cold air on my bald head and therefore a big cold. Yesterday I topped the thermometer at 101.4 which came down quickly with fluids and Tylenol. I think it has broken today but not taking any chances and still laying low, didn't even try for church today as a shower starting the dishwasher and getting myself cleaned up and looking presentable (for anyone that wants to visit, hint) was enough for now.
I am later today going to run out and get a couple of things but for the past three months for this to be the only weekend that my son, Kevin says "you really do look sick" I guess that's oka
y. What did he think I was before? Oh, he did say the only way he could tell that "anything was wrong with me was the fact that I had no hair"! Really? Is he kidding? Couldn't he tell because I wasn't making dinner; or walking the dogs everyday; or on his back about keeping his room straightened up? Really there were other signs, they (all 3 of them) don't seem to have the "eye" of perception. Yes, my sense of humor remains!I will sign off for now, I await this weeks' last chemo treatment, the talk with the surgeon and "what's next?" scenario. I will let you know when I do...
Hugs, Deb
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I expect relaxation...
Relaxation, that doesn't come easily these days. I am without energy but don't have the ability to relax. It seems that 0ne continues to think something else will happen but it doesn't. I feel pretty good for being day 4 of the 4th Chemo treatment. I have been doing errands this weekend but not all that much as it has been over 100 degrees here in Temecula.
I am enjoying the quietness of the day and letting myself unwind, how does that sound? Tomorrow will be a little better I hope and I will be able to do some walking (if I leave at 6 AM) that might not happen but all in all I am doing as good as I can be.
That's all for now just a quick note to let you all know that I am thinking of you all and trying to send myself healing thoughts which I guess are working as I do sound upbeat,don't I?
Hugs, Deb
I am enjoying the quietness of the day and letting myself unwind, how does that sound? Tomorrow will be a little better I hope and I will be able to do some walking (if I leave at 6 AM) that might not happen but all in all I am doing as good as I can be.
That's all for now just a quick note to let you all know that I am thinking of you all and trying to send myself healing thoughts which I guess are working as I do sound upbeat,don't I?
Hugs, Deb
Thursday, July 16, 2009
4 DONE, 1 to Go!
Yep, that's what the doctors told us today, they will compromise at 5 treatments. They are glad that the tumor has shrunk very significantly, that is softer, and that is the good news! The not so good news is that surgery now must be performed and they are not letting me wait more than 6 weeks at the outside. As you can imagine anything longer than that and the chemo treatment would have been for not. So, my next visit for chemo will also be a day with the surgeon to go over my options again, which aren't options, there is as the doctors said today only one choice. Mastectomy OR double mastectomy, lumpectomy isn't a choice as 10 years ago I had radiation and therefore they can't do radiation again as the skin won't recover from it, so my druthers are to state firmly that I am not liking the no choice thing but I had always been down the road on removing both as they weigh too much and they're not even, and so on and so on.
The choices I do have is to start reconstruction at the time of surgery or not, only have the one removed and be really lopsided, or have them both removed, recover from that surgery and have reconstruction at a later time. My thinking is I have to have surgery, I have to pack up the house and move the household goods, I have to drive across the country with two dogs so I am thinking the latter as it is the most prudent of the choice and less time consuming and probably better for my mind, what do you think not that your opinion will be heeded just interested.
I seem to always be in a conundrum, really I am just now going to see how I do with this treatment, I did tell the doctors today that I thought they had been giving me a placebo and they both laughed and said no, not really and look the chemo is working the tumor has shrunk, it's just that your body is accepting the treatment very well, you are a fighter, oh how right they are! So I will keep thinking about some other way that they can get this now little tumor out with finesse and not a lot of my skin going with it! I let you know how that works out!
Thanks again for all of your comments, support, love, and prayers! Keep sending them they are what is working for me! Hugs, Deb
The choices I do have is to start reconstruction at the time of surgery or not, only have the one removed and be really lopsided, or have them both removed, recover from that surgery and have reconstruction at a later time. My thinking is I have to have surgery, I have to pack up the house and move the household goods, I have to drive across the country with two dogs so I am thinking the latter as it is the most prudent of the choice and less time consuming and probably better for my mind, what do you think not that your opinion will be heeded just interested.
I seem to always be in a conundrum, really I am just now going to see how I do with this treatment, I did tell the doctors today that I thought they had been giving me a placebo and they both laughed and said no, not really and look the chemo is working the tumor has shrunk, it's just that your body is accepting the treatment very well, you are a fighter, oh how right they are! So I will keep thinking about some other way that they can get this now little tumor out with finesse and not a lot of my skin going with it! I let you know how that works out!
Thanks again for all of your comments, support, love, and prayers! Keep sending them they are what is working for me! Hugs, Deb
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
It's the wait for that other shoe to drop that...
Mind you I am not complaining at all. I do feel very blessed that all of my symptoms or reactions are eeking out of me instead of charging out! This weekend was the 4th of July and some say I was crazy to have the entire family up at the house for a barbecue but some of the family were missing, Crissy had to work and Lauren was entertained at the Amphip base so the "entire family" wasn't there but those that were said that they had a good time(I think), I don't remember much of it as I did what I could and then was lying down or zombie like (no no just kidding I do remember all of it I was just a little cranky). I did see the Capitol 4th on TV and the celebration from the Hudson River! I heard the fireworks around our house but didn't see much that's okay the dogs were a little goosy but all in all it was a nice day! Sunday I did get up and make it to church which I haven't been able to do in about a month so then I came home and watched the recorded match of Roddick and Federer, what a match! Then took a nap and then it was Monday! That's how that day 4usually goes. Day 5 was a little bit more energy but not much so stayed close to the chair and naps.
Today I was able to start my day with a regular routine of showering and breakfast, now I am in the office working on paperwork/emails. Tomorrow is my Wednesday morning breakfast club meeting so I will be up early for that one, but I have found that I allow myself an "easy" wakeup on day 6, means I let my body tell me when it wants to get up instead of me saying "okay lets do 2 miles!" I will walk in the evening and then walk Thursday morning, hopefully. I am finding that it is easy to slip into a "non compliant" attitude for all of it and then you get grumpy just because you can! None of that! I will sing for my supper and hopefully be laughing with the best of them this time next month!
Hugs, Deb
Today I was able to start my day with a regular routine of showering and breakfast, now I am in the office working on paperwork/emails. Tomorrow is my Wednesday morning breakfast club meeting so I will be up early for that one, but I have found that I allow myself an "easy" wakeup on day 6, means I let my body tell me when it wants to get up instead of me saying "okay lets do 2 miles!" I will walk in the evening and then walk Thursday morning, hopefully. I am finding that it is easy to slip into a "non compliant" attitude for all of it and then you get grumpy just because you can! None of that! I will sing for my supper and hopefully be laughing with the best of them this time next month!
Hugs, Deb
Friday, July 3, 2009
And treatment #3 is done!
Well the actual sitting there for 4 hours and receiving 3 bags of fluid is complete. This is what is considered day 2 of this session and I started my day at 8:30 with coffee with a friend, then down to Poway for lunch with some friends that are on their way to send their graduate to the Merchant Marine Academy at Kingspoint, NY! Congratulations Alex! Then we went to Costco to brave the throng of people for supplies for the 4th and now home for some rest! So yes I do know my limits and I am really listening to all of the voices I keep hearing from inside and from the outside gang "slow down".
My latest update is that the tumor is considered to be 50% less, and they are considering two more treatments after the 4th one so I requested that due to Craig's/Kevin's departure date to go back east is the 21st of August, they have decided to let me go to a two week interval so that my treatments will be concluded before they leave instead of after they leave(if I have to have the other 2 or I will be recovered by the time they leave). I am happy about this as that last week has been kind of anticlimactic and hopefully not necessary but we are trying this for the next few weeks and we can always go back to a 3 week interval if needed. The doctors are saying that I appear to be handling all of this rather well as I they haven't heard from me and no real complications and my blood work seems to be in line with all of their expectations. Classic or no I still have little quirks that they are having to deal with and who wouldn't expect that from me? I am a unique individual no matter what "box" they want to put me in!
In all seriousness like all patients that go through these paths I have my down times, I have my times of questioning all of it, but I don't dwell on these processes. I sit and take in all of your prayers and great thoughts that you send me and feel very blessed to have all of you in my life! Thanks so much! Hugs, Deb
My latest update is that the tumor is considered to be 50% less, and they are considering two more treatments after the 4th one so I requested that due to Craig's/Kevin's departure date to go back east is the 21st of August, they have decided to let me go to a two week interval so that my treatments will be concluded before they leave instead of after they leave(if I have to have the other 2 or I will be recovered by the time they leave). I am happy about this as that last week has been kind of anticlimactic and hopefully not necessary but we are trying this for the next few weeks and we can always go back to a 3 week interval if needed. The doctors are saying that I appear to be handling all of this rather well as I they haven't heard from me and no real complications and my blood work seems to be in line with all of their expectations. Classic or no I still have little quirks that they are having to deal with and who wouldn't expect that from me? I am a unique individual no matter what "box" they want to put me in!
In all seriousness like all patients that go through these paths I have my down times, I have my times of questioning all of it, but I don't dwell on these processes. I sit and take in all of your prayers and great thoughts that you send me and feel very blessed to have all of you in my life! Thanks so much! Hugs, Deb
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I haven't forgotten...
Hi all. Yes it has been over a week since I checked in and I must say that nothing exciting has happened, just recovering from the last one only to have another upon me this Thursday. I am being told that I am pretty healthy looking (except for the bald head and that has hair growing on it) I feel okay some days the lack of energy is greater than most but for the most part I am doing well.
I am looking at this as an experiment so I wonder when my hair will fall out totally, when I am going to feel horrible, and when is my face not going to look as healthy?. I guess I shouldn't get too anxious for any of that, okay whatever. It is getting very warm here so if I walk it is at 6 AM and yea I'm up at that time (not everyday)! My summer is going quickly and I have many questions for my doctors this week, how many treatments really(they have scheduled 4 but said to count on more)? When can I expect to have this metallic taste in my mouth gone? Do I now always have a problem with carbonation? Cause at a wedding last week that was a huge surprise, like broken glass on my tongue! Nice! I guess that is why they talk about mouth sores and such but again I have been blessed to not have any of those afflictions, I count myself extremely fortunate. I am being covered by all of your prayers and good wishes so thanks so much and I will let you know how #3 goes, this Thursday.
See ya, Deb
I am looking at this as an experiment so I wonder when my hair will fall out totally, when I am going to feel horrible, and when is my face not going to look as healthy?. I guess I shouldn't get too anxious for any of that, okay whatever. It is getting very warm here so if I walk it is at 6 AM and yea I'm up at that time (not everyday)! My summer is going quickly and I have many questions for my doctors this week, how many treatments really(they have scheduled 4 but said to count on more)? When can I expect to have this metallic taste in my mouth gone? Do I now always have a problem with carbonation? Cause at a wedding last week that was a huge surprise, like broken glass on my tongue! Nice! I guess that is why they talk about mouth sores and such but again I have been blessed to not have any of those afflictions, I count myself extremely fortunate. I am being covered by all of your prayers and good wishes so thanks so much and I will let you know how #3 goes, this Thursday.
See ya, Deb
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Always more to learn...
Now I am finishing day 30 out of 65 with 2 chemotherapy sessions under my belt as it were and realized that I am almost halfway done (well for the scheduled sessions)and I wanted to share with you all that you do keep learning about things as you go through this process. You learn that some reactions take a week to set in, unusual but there they are all the same; you learn that you don't react the way you think you should when sales people call and keep you on the phone past their appointed minute, why did I take that call anyway? I must train these guys here to ask more questions and be protective or else they get the same reaction those sales calls do! You learn that not everything is the same or happens at the same time as last time does this become monotonous or not? I guess not, your body reacts and then you choose to work thru it or just "block and tackle" as one of my cousins is so good to point out. All in all I think my "side effects" are consistent with most everyone else.
I am doing fine, less energy, more time to read, playing cards, looking for something funny on the television, trying to get out and walk on "strong" days (I have to do something), people are coming by to visit and I truly love to see people, it is starting to get warm here finally, the boys did tell me that I should go "rogue" and be bald I can carry it off, what do you think? That's all for now, I have a wedding this weekend still trying to figure out if I will be Carmen Miranda or a bag lady!
Hugs, Debi
I am doing fine, less energy, more time to read, playing cards, looking for something funny on the television, trying to get out and walk on "strong" days (I have to do something), people are coming by to visit and I truly love to see people, it is starting to get warm here finally, the boys did tell me that I should go "rogue" and be bald I can carry it off, what do you think? That's all for now, I have a wedding this weekend still trying to figure out if I will be Carmen Miranda or a bag lady!
Hugs, Debi
Monday, June 15, 2009
I keep saying deflated...
Hi all, this is day 5 of the 2nd session of chemo in my veins. I have a little energy not enough to walk the dogs (much to their chagrin, those girls are whiney!) but enough to get myself started with the day and look on facebook, the blog here and get some emails sent.
These reactions seem to be repeating themselves now and not really to any more of a degree than last time, but of course not any less either! IT is nice to have Craig and Kevin home although they like me have been on their own so we are seperate bumper cars running into each other at times. It will work out I am sure, I just keep telling them to "stay out of my way" no no just kidding it all seems to be going okay and yes my headline is deflated as that little bit of air that a balloon holds is just not there. I keep trying to get some "gumption" but none to have so I will cruise along with what I have to do and get some rest today and see how tomorrow fares. The weather here in Temecula is unusually gloomy which is just fine for all of us as by this time any other year it has been in the high 90's and ghastly during the day so for now we "tread water" and know that these times are a changing.
More later, Deb
These reactions seem to be repeating themselves now and not really to any more of a degree than last time, but of course not any less either! IT is nice to have Craig and Kevin home although they like me have been on their own so we are seperate bumper cars running into each other at times. It will work out I am sure, I just keep telling them to "stay out of my way" no no just kidding it all seems to be going okay and yes my headline is deflated as that little bit of air that a balloon holds is just not there. I keep trying to get some "gumption" but none to have so I will cruise along with what I have to do and get some rest today and see how tomorrow fares. The weather here in Temecula is unusually gloomy which is just fine for all of us as by this time any other year it has been in the high 90's and ghastly during the day so for now we "tread water" and know that these times are a changing.
More later, Deb
Friday, June 12, 2009
And now I am not such a classic textbook case...
The first half hour of my injection time was spent trying to find a vein that would work, what a pain in the *** I am to work with, they said no you just have funny veins they like to show us they are there and they slide away! And I do have reactions to the drugs! They are slow onset as I did have a "tiny" setback yesterday and it seems that I will take a little longer on the chemo drips. It really wasn't a horrible reaction but all the same it was a reaction which seemed to have "concerned" Craig a little as I turned bright red as the taxotere was flowing through me and then my chest tightened and I thought it would pass as sometimes drugs in your system will do this but when I started to talk and couldn't I asked for the nurse and they were there immediately stopped the drip and gave me more steroids and I took another antihistamine and then we waited another 10 minutes and started the drip slowly, I still had a slight tightening of the chest but it resolved itself so now I know what an antephylactic reaction starts like! They also told me that only 5% of patients react like that. Hey good news! So my whole visit yesterday was about 4 and 1/2 hours but next time maybe closer to 3 1/2 as they will now be giving me the benadryl as well as everything else. Ah just take some pain relievers while you are at it.
All in all it was a most pleasant day and went quickly as Craig was there and one of his work mates from SGI and his wife came by to visit so we got to catch up with them after 8 years. Christmas letters and phone calls have kept the guys in touch but it was so nice to visit with Bonnie and Jim, get their perspective and thoughts and great prayers, thanks so much for coming by! Life is changing so quickly for us all it is nice to be able to sit down and visit with people like you have just seen them last week.
Today has started pretty much like day 2 last time not really any reactions just a little lethargy and some nervousness from the steroids. It makes for a questionable day for me as I don't really know what to do and how much I can do but for now I am good, that seems to be my mantra bald but good! It is really a cool summer so far so for that I am thankful as the windows are open and fresh air is my friend. I am grateful to all of you for your ongoing comments, thoughts and prayers, I know the latter is my strength and healing power for all that I am embarking on because as one of the nurses said to me yesterday, "you are just getting started" oh joy the fun is yet to come!
Hugs, Deb
All in all it was a most pleasant day and went quickly as Craig was there and one of his work mates from SGI and his wife came by to visit so we got to catch up with them after 8 years. Christmas letters and phone calls have kept the guys in touch but it was so nice to visit with Bonnie and Jim, get their perspective and thoughts and great prayers, thanks so much for coming by! Life is changing so quickly for us all it is nice to be able to sit down and visit with people like you have just seen them last week.
Today has started pretty much like day 2 last time not really any reactions just a little lethargy and some nervousness from the steroids. It makes for a questionable day for me as I don't really know what to do and how much I can do but for now I am good, that seems to be my mantra bald but good! It is really a cool summer so far so for that I am thankful as the windows are open and fresh air is my friend. I am grateful to all of you for your ongoing comments, thoughts and prayers, I know the latter is my strength and healing power for all that I am embarking on because as one of the nurses said to me yesterday, "you are just getting started" oh joy the fun is yet to come!
Hugs, Deb
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Round 2!
Hello, I know it's been over a week since I updated my blog and that's a lot of time for me not to be talking! I have been getting the house ready for college returnees, summer and Craig coming home for the summer! His company has allowed him (even though he is a newbee still) to come home for the summer and work from here, so telecommuting happens across the country, wow! He was to arrive Tues night but the storms in the east and midwest (thunder and lightning oh my!) prohibited many planes from departure and his was on that cancellation list finally 3 hours after he was scheduled to depart. So he was graciously accepted back into my cousin's home for one more night and then a cab picked him up at 5AM for a 6:50 AM flight (which turned out to be 7:30 AM) and he arrived in San Diego at Noon yesterday. It is really good to have him home for the summer!
We had my Wednesday morning club over for dinner last night, we decided that we would gather for dinner the night before my treatments with our husbands, it makes for a great group and laughter and one of the husbands (I won't name you M) told me to be myself and let the group see just how round and bald my head was and so I did and they all thought and agreed that yes my head was ROUND but I looked good! The evening was a lot of fun but, I think I did this wrong...it should the evening of my Chemotherapy so that I don't have to worry about alcohol and or desserts wrecking my blood sugar totals! That was dumb but then I am not thinking all that clearly and these kinds of things pop up in my head usually after the fact.
Yes today is my 2nd session of chemotherapy and I have for the most part been in good health and still able to walk 2 miles a day about 3 times a week, make my weekly breakfast meetings, attend some graduation parties and open houses, attend my friend Leasa's appointments as she is still without a diagnosis of her condition after 3 years (will they ever stop saying "nonspecific blah blah blah") it is exhausting for her but she perseveres with a smile on her face! I am always curious to see how these days fare for me, am I going to have any reactions, are the reactions I had last time going to be worse this time, will I get some sleep tonight, and the underlying question of all what am I supposed to be learning from this bump in the road??? I do not have any answers for that...yet.
More tomorrow or Saturday depending on how I do and how I am feeling! Hugs to all, Deb
We had my Wednesday morning club over for dinner last night, we decided that we would gather for dinner the night before my treatments with our husbands, it makes for a great group and laughter and one of the husbands (I won't name you M) told me to be myself and let the group see just how round and bald my head was and so I did and they all thought and agreed that yes my head was ROUND but I looked good! The evening was a lot of fun but, I think I did this wrong...it should the evening of my Chemotherapy so that I don't have to worry about alcohol and or desserts wrecking my blood sugar totals! That was dumb but then I am not thinking all that clearly and these kinds of things pop up in my head usually after the fact.
Yes today is my 2nd session of chemotherapy and I have for the most part been in good health and still able to walk 2 miles a day about 3 times a week, make my weekly breakfast meetings, attend some graduation parties and open houses, attend my friend Leasa's appointments as she is still without a diagnosis of her condition after 3 years (will they ever stop saying "nonspecific blah blah blah") it is exhausting for her but she perseveres with a smile on her face! I am always curious to see how these days fare for me, am I going to have any reactions, are the reactions I had last time going to be worse this time, will I get some sleep tonight, and the underlying question of all what am I supposed to be learning from this bump in the road??? I do not have any answers for that...yet.
More tomorrow or Saturday depending on how I do and how I am feeling! Hugs to all, Deb
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
And it's off!
Yes I have had head shaved this afternoon. It really is liberating and chilly! I have put up a photo with a scarf on as somethings take time to get used to. I actually laughed as we (the Weds gals and my hairdresser) started by making a Mohawk and then to a slim Mohawk and then completely off! I really do have a very round head and no nicks or marks in the scalp and to tell you the truth it does feel pretty good to know that I am starting over with a new head of hair somewhere in the distant future. Some say about a month after the last chemo treatment some fuzz will start appearing. My eyebrows and lashes are still there and so you can still find my eyes but someone said you would always be able to find my eyes and of course let's not forget about my voice!
Later, Deb
Later, Deb
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
DAY 14 AND COUNTING...
Hello all. I have been behind in communicating not for feeling bad or ill just waiting for something new to happen so I can report. As I bring you up to date it's day 14 and yes my hair is coming out but only by me pulling it so right now I am trying not to keep my experiment going on how many I can pull out at one time! I truly do think that by the end of the week I will sporting scarves and caps (if it's not too hot).
My weekend of trying to build up my white cells was interesting as I forgot that my allergies always kick in at this time of year and I need extra head meds. Once I got that figured that out I have been able to breath much better. Imagine that not all things or reactions are caused by the chemo meds! How exciting to have regular reactions. I am assuming that my blood white cells are better as I had that bulging bone scenario for three days and in my pelvic bone which just reminded me of the back situation that I suffered in Jan and Feb with, lovely reminders, but all of that is behind me now and I am on to wondering what I am going to look like BALD.
Aren't you curious? I will post a picture for you to enjoy or laugh at with me! I am doing well for the most part, still walking about 2 miles every other day and yes the dogs go with me. More later and hugs to all, Deb
My weekend of trying to build up my white cells was interesting as I forgot that my allergies always kick in at this time of year and I need extra head meds. Once I got that figured that out I have been able to breath much better. Imagine that not all things or reactions are caused by the chemo meds! How exciting to have regular reactions. I am assuming that my blood white cells are better as I had that bulging bone scenario for three days and in my pelvic bone which just reminded me of the back situation that I suffered in Jan and Feb with, lovely reminders, but all of that is behind me now and I am on to wondering what I am going to look like BALD.
Aren't you curious? I will post a picture for you to enjoy or laugh at with me! I am doing well for the most part, still walking about 2 miles every other day and yes the dogs go with me. More later and hugs to all, Deb
Thursday, May 28, 2009
"A classic textbook case"
I am not an original anymore. I am a classic textbook case of a chemotherapy patient and all that is happening to me has happened to someone else before. Does that sound like it should give you comfort? Or put your mind at ease? No I didn't think so...
I had to go into the treatment center yesterday to have an 8 day check of my white blood cell count, it was incredibly low as the chemo is attacking everything good or bad so they decided I needed a boost of white cell injection called neuprogen. I have to have 3 injections the one on Wednesday, another Thursday, and the last one Friday. It is an injection no big deal, but the drive from southwest Riverside county to the middle of Orange county is an hour and half drive with traffic so I made my complaint that they have their medical offices out in the Temecula/Murrieta valley area why isn't the chemotherapy center up and running out there as well? Good question, they are working on that. This is exactly what I wasn't looking forward to was stressful driving for a 10 minute appointment everyday. I know with the over 400,000 residents that live out here someone would believe that we should have excellent medical care out here, right? Okay enough of my soapbox, I am always shooting for the little guy!
I will take my injections and know that my next chemo bags will hold something else called neulasta, which is supposed to boost as it tears down. Interesting concept I will let you know how that goes. So I guess you all see that I still have my sense of indignation so I must be feeling good. You are right I am doing okay and probably will forge ahead with some lobbying for the offices to open out here so the "many patients" of my oncologist (he said there were so many coming from here they could rent a part bust) don't you think it would be easier for two people to travel to an office than 40 to travel 3 hours out of their way?
Take care, Deb
I had to go into the treatment center yesterday to have an 8 day check of my white blood cell count, it was incredibly low as the chemo is attacking everything good or bad so they decided I needed a boost of white cell injection called neuprogen. I have to have 3 injections the one on Wednesday, another Thursday, and the last one Friday. It is an injection no big deal, but the drive from southwest Riverside county to the middle of Orange county is an hour and half drive with traffic so I made my complaint that they have their medical offices out in the Temecula/Murrieta valley area why isn't the chemotherapy center up and running out there as well? Good question, they are working on that. This is exactly what I wasn't looking forward to was stressful driving for a 10 minute appointment everyday. I know with the over 400,000 residents that live out here someone would believe that we should have excellent medical care out here, right? Okay enough of my soapbox, I am always shooting for the little guy!
I will take my injections and know that my next chemo bags will hold something else called neulasta, which is supposed to boost as it tears down. Interesting concept I will let you know how that goes. So I guess you all see that I still have my sense of indignation so I must be feeling good. You are right I am doing okay and probably will forge ahead with some lobbying for the offices to open out here so the "many patients" of my oncologist (he said there were so many coming from here they could rent a part bust) don't you think it would be easier for two people to travel to an office than 40 to travel 3 hours out of their way?
Take care, Deb
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Another day gone.
Sunday, it was a good day. I slept better than I had the night before, hopefully will sleep better tonight, I talked myself into expending some energy and walking the dogs around the 1 1/2 mile loop that I do with them. The girls can't seem to handle anymore than that but they are building up their reserves also.
I cleaned myself up and got a lot of laundry done, sheets, towels from people being here over the weekend and I even cleaned off the top of the dryer which is a big thing for me I keep my "extra" outfits there for a quick change but thought I should put things away. Good for me. I even had pizza for dinner last night and it tasted pretty good and all in all I am listening to my head when it screams, "lay down and take a nap!"
It will be good to have this weekend behind me, the biggest complaint that I have is the "full" feeling all the time but hey I drink the water, eat good food, so having a little fullness isn't so bad is it?
I cleaned myself up and got a lot of laundry done, sheets, towels from people being here over the weekend and I even cleaned off the top of the dryer which is a big thing for me I keep my "extra" outfits there for a quick change but thought I should put things away. Good for me. I even had pizza for dinner last night and it tasted pretty good and all in all I am listening to my head when it screams, "lay down and take a nap!"
It will be good to have this weekend behind me, the biggest complaint that I have is the "full" feeling all the time but hey I drink the water, eat good food, so having a little fullness isn't so bad is it?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
How is it we think we are invincible?
Those of you that have been down this lane/path will understand what I mean when I say I am feeling defunct. This is considered day 4 and as some said you will feel lethargic, uneasy, some said nauseous, nausea isn't there just deflation. Deflated is a good word, it means you are still in there but have no gumption to do anything. As long as I do nothing I don't feel bad, but I don't feel good, but with that comes the dreaded guilt of being non-productive. I guess that will go away over time, eh?
I am not walking around the house singing like I normally do, oh yes some days that is what I do I sing at the top of my lungs and as some of you know, those are some big lungs I have! Generally I am okay just not wanting to "use" up my energy as I see over the past two days that I did overuse yesterday and I guess today then I should store up more reserves. So that is what I am doing today just storing and reeling myself in, that's it for now maybe tomorrow I will be more talkative!
Hugs, Deb
I am not walking around the house singing like I normally do, oh yes some days that is what I do I sing at the top of my lungs and as some of you know, those are some big lungs I have! Generally I am okay just not wanting to "use" up my energy as I see over the past two days that I did overuse yesterday and I guess today then I should store up more reserves. So that is what I am doing today just storing and reeling myself in, that's it for now maybe tomorrow I will be more talkative!
Hugs, Deb
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The one day after...
The first day of any treatment will be met with apprehension, curiosity, and just down right uneasiness. All of these and more were mine yesterday. We started the day with our regular Wednesday morning breakfast albeit way out of our normal breakfast route as we wanted to be close to the treatment sight and away from traffic jams so I could be on time. My procedure was to be 4 hours the first time as they like to give one of the chemo drugs slower the first time to watch for any "side effects". They could have just said they were looking for a patient to go into anaphylactic shock I would have known what to be looking for, but I wasn't really paying attention when they were describing a tightening in the throat, heaviness on my chest. I had some of the tightening of the throat and dryness but put that down to the anti-nausea meds and the additional jolt of steroids they gave me first. That first drug took 3 1/2 hours to drip (but next time they said they will be able to go alot faster like only 1 3/4 hours) and then the next chemo drug took 45 minutes and then they did hydration which I didn't have to finish as I drank while I sat there for 6 hours over 90 ounces of water. Needless to say I could have swam home but took the 1:45 minute ride in the car. The gals kept me laughing and munching on snacks on the way home and my motion band was shocking away so I didn't get any car sickness.
All in all I am doing okay, I keep thinking a shoe is going to drop but I know that I am being held up and I will prevail all in one piece. As my mom is famous for saying "this too shall pass!" I love her sayings and her outlook! Today I have had to stay on the steroids but they make me very nervy and then I tend to crash about 4 hours into them but I am trying today to stay away from caffiene to see if that is hindering the process. I experiment all the time with me.
Today I am going to the hairdresser and having my hair cut down to about 3/4 inch all around to get used to no heighth on my big head and try to get used to the "roundness" of it. Then in about 10 days I will have her shave it completely to go rogue as I call it as the rule of thumb for this chemo plan is 14 days out from your first treatment your hair will be going if not gone. Why wait, I really must start being careful for what I ask for...I have been for about the past 6 months been very unhappy with how my hair looks, no not the day Tena does it but when I am working with and the last couple of time sitting in Tena's chair I have said "just shave it all off!" Well here goes my chance, hopefully I will like it. The last time I had breast cancer I had been complaining only to myself mind you that I was lopsided on the right side well that cancer took care of that so you see what I mean? Have to be careful for what you ask for, it comes to you in funny ways.
For a first chemo treatment they said I survived realtively well, we'll see how that goes over the next few days, I am losing my some tasting ability but that is to be expected. Each day will bring a new experience and hopefully I will meet each one with the strength and openess that all of your prayers are sending me! More later, have to run, Deb
All in all I am doing okay, I keep thinking a shoe is going to drop but I know that I am being held up and I will prevail all in one piece. As my mom is famous for saying "this too shall pass!" I love her sayings and her outlook! Today I have had to stay on the steroids but they make me very nervy and then I tend to crash about 4 hours into them but I am trying today to stay away from caffiene to see if that is hindering the process. I experiment all the time with me.
Today I am going to the hairdresser and having my hair cut down to about 3/4 inch all around to get used to no heighth on my big head and try to get used to the "roundness" of it. Then in about 10 days I will have her shave it completely to go rogue as I call it as the rule of thumb for this chemo plan is 14 days out from your first treatment your hair will be going if not gone. Why wait, I really must start being careful for what I ask for...I have been for about the past 6 months been very unhappy with how my hair looks, no not the day Tena does it but when I am working with and the last couple of time sitting in Tena's chair I have said "just shave it all off!" Well here goes my chance, hopefully I will like it. The last time I had breast cancer I had been complaining only to myself mind you that I was lopsided on the right side well that cancer took care of that so you see what I mean? Have to be careful for what you ask for, it comes to you in funny ways.
For a first chemo treatment they said I survived realtively well, we'll see how that goes over the next few days, I am losing my some tasting ability but that is to be expected. Each day will bring a new experience and hopefully I will meet each one with the strength and openess that all of your prayers are sending me! More later, have to run, Deb
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The big day has arrived!
Hi there. Just wanted to pop in and say hello let you all know how much I enjoy the thoughts and prayers and good wishes! You all are so good to me. Tomorrow morning I meet my "gals" and we drive to Orange for my first treatment! How exciting, NOT. Although I must look on the positive side and know that I am not in control of this, God is and with His guiding hands the doctors will be able to treat this.
I thank you all again for checking in and looking after me. The cards, the prayers, thoughts and wishes and just general good vibes are much appreciated! More tomorrow!
Deb
I thank you all again for checking in and looking after me. The cards, the prayers, thoughts and wishes and just general good vibes are much appreciated! More tomorrow!
Deb
Friday, May 15, 2009
Hey it's Friday! Have a great weekend all, I am escaping to San Diego to rest relax and visit some friends and family.
I received the report on my PET scan, no other "spots" except for the one (drats!) and a little brightness at my L5 which they think is inflammation from my RECENT back surgery, (really, how astute of them). So onto chemotherapy next Weds and we go from there. I have purchased my "shopping list" and received the drugs from the pharmacy so I am all set to take on this bad boy, will I be singing another song next week at this time? Only those of you that have been through it can advise me on that one.
Craig will be flying in for a week on June 9, so he will be here for the second session and the second visit with the Plastic Surgeon (yes I know one set of treatment at a time, please). I will post an update next week and let you know how I do with my first session of cytoxan and taxotere! Aren't you just on the edge of your seat????
I received the report on my PET scan, no other "spots" except for the one (drats!) and a little brightness at my L5 which they think is inflammation from my RECENT back surgery, (really, how astute of them). So onto chemotherapy next Weds and we go from there. I have purchased my "shopping list" and received the drugs from the pharmacy so I am all set to take on this bad boy, will I be singing another song next week at this time? Only those of you that have been through it can advise me on that one.
Craig will be flying in for a week on June 9, so he will be here for the second session and the second visit with the Plastic Surgeon (yes I know one set of treatment at a time, please). I will post an update next week and let you know how I do with my first session of cytoxan and taxotere! Aren't you just on the edge of your seat????
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
And how do you say...confinement!
I am radioactive for the next 12 hours! This morning I went in for a PET scan, was delivered to the lab by my trusty friends Janese and Karen. We sat in the waiting room after I drank some "tasty" drink that left a metallic aftertaste and waited for my name to be called. And it was, the technician, Oscar was nice and explained to me that my friends can't be with me as after he administers the isotopes, I will be "hot" and giving off radiation! So they went to get coffee and I sat in a darkened room (they like you to be resting as the isotopes gather to whatever you are doing reading they go to your eyes, listening to music they travel to your ears) and waited for the next "drink". You cannot imagine how long that hour and a half is...
I was escorted into the PET scan room and was shown the "tube" which was wider than a MRI tube (by 4 inches) and yes it was shorter but for my closterphobia it was a challenge because of course "I thought I would be able maintain". Right. I did not have to be let out and I did successfully complete the scan but not for my body screaming inside to GET OUT! That's done and we await the results, should be Thursday. All I could think of afterwards was "and I thought I was going to be able to have my body accept chemotherapy now?" Yeh, I was being my proverbial self trying to fit 10 pounds into a 3 pound bag. I'm learning, I'm learning.
That's it for tonight and thanks so much for all your thoughts and wishes and prayers!
I was escorted into the PET scan room and was shown the "tube" which was wider than a MRI tube (by 4 inches) and yes it was shorter but for my closterphobia it was a challenge because of course "I thought I would be able maintain". Right. I did not have to be let out and I did successfully complete the scan but not for my body screaming inside to GET OUT! That's done and we await the results, should be Thursday. All I could think of afterwards was "and I thought I was going to be able to have my body accept chemotherapy now?" Yeh, I was being my proverbial self trying to fit 10 pounds into a 3 pound bag. I'm learning, I'm learning.
That's it for tonight and thanks so much for all your thoughts and wishes and prayers!
Monday, May 11, 2009
The second chronicle of many
Hi all,
So my day was quite a whirlwind of information, teetering on overload around 3 PM. Really nice caring professionals just A LOT to absorb and process. The upshot is that the chemotherapy will start next Wednesday, something about too much running stressful and maybe just a bit of radioactivity in me and too many patients in the chemo room for me to be exposed to my "glow".
So for now we have eaten dinner and checked into the hotel and will await the 6 AM call for a 7 AM PET scan and then back to Temecula to do my shopping of vitamins, supplements, protein shakes and goodies.
More on me later this week! Deb
So my day was quite a whirlwind of information, teetering on overload around 3 PM. Really nice caring professionals just A LOT to absorb and process. The upshot is that the chemotherapy will start next Wednesday, something about too much running stressful and maybe just a bit of radioactivity in me and too many patients in the chemo room for me to be exposed to my "glow".
So for now we have eaten dinner and checked into the hotel and will await the 6 AM call for a 7 AM PET scan and then back to Temecula to do my shopping of vitamins, supplements, protein shakes and goodies.
More on me later this week! Deb
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The beginning...AGAIN
So, I am still kind of shell shocked about my news. After 10 years of being a Breast Cancer survivor, I found a mass and yes after tests and biopsies I have cancer...AGAIN! No no I am not angry or perplexed or stunned or (you fill in the rest). I know that alot of you already know that I had back problems earlier this year which ended with a discectomy/decompression, from which I have no more pain running down my leg or in my back. And to top it all off, Craig is living and working in Virginia (as he was laid off from BAE in early Jan).
I want to be able to communicate with everyone and let you all know what is going on, but honestly like anyone going through this process (AGAIN or even the first time) communication is one of the last, but most important, things on your mind! That is why I started this blog, to keep everyone up to date and try to answer any of your questions as I am able to. You are welcome to post anything you want, questions, comments, thoughts, prayers, I will accept and cherish each and everyone of them.
This new finding was found just 3 weeks ago, the diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound found the "unspecified suspicious mass" and it was determined that a biopsy was needed. I was convinced it was going to be a staph infection, yeah right, and the immediate finding was Invasive Carcinoma. I met with the surgeon last Tues (5/5) where we discussed that we "found it early" so they think (although it is still growing) and that surgery was imminent but could be delayed due to chemotherapy FIRST. Yes we met with the Oncologist that same afternoon only to be told that it was a very nasty, agressive cancer (that being the bad news) and that hopefully, it will respond to treatment just as agressively (and that is yet to be seen). That being said, I will meet with the Chemo team tomorrow morning, get my Chemo training, meet with the Plastic surgeon and then a mammogram; how exciting! The next morning promptly at 7 I will have a PET Scan to see if there is any other site (more on that after reports are in). After that we (my team advocate) will have breakfast and then at 11, I will start the first of (4-6) sessions of chemotherapy. This treatment is to reduce the size and hopefully arrest/kill the tumor (which is the size of a half dollar) and then I can have surgery; this will be approximately mid to late August. Hey what a summer for me! The down side of the chemotherapy as most of you would know is hair loss, but I'm excited to see if I really do have a bowling ball for a head. I will let you know!
This has been quite a shock for most of you I know, but hey I'm optimisitc and faithful that all is in God's hands, and I'll come through this fire, more refined and...I'll still have this wild sense of humor!
Hugs and love, Debi
I want to be able to communicate with everyone and let you all know what is going on, but honestly like anyone going through this process (AGAIN or even the first time) communication is one of the last, but most important, things on your mind! That is why I started this blog, to keep everyone up to date and try to answer any of your questions as I am able to. You are welcome to post anything you want, questions, comments, thoughts, prayers, I will accept and cherish each and everyone of them.
This new finding was found just 3 weeks ago, the diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound found the "unspecified suspicious mass" and it was determined that a biopsy was needed. I was convinced it was going to be a staph infection, yeah right, and the immediate finding was Invasive Carcinoma. I met with the surgeon last Tues (5/5) where we discussed that we "found it early" so they think (although it is still growing) and that surgery was imminent but could be delayed due to chemotherapy FIRST. Yes we met with the Oncologist that same afternoon only to be told that it was a very nasty, agressive cancer (that being the bad news) and that hopefully, it will respond to treatment just as agressively (and that is yet to be seen). That being said, I will meet with the Chemo team tomorrow morning, get my Chemo training, meet with the Plastic surgeon and then a mammogram; how exciting! The next morning promptly at 7 I will have a PET Scan to see if there is any other site (more on that after reports are in). After that we (my team advocate) will have breakfast and then at 11, I will start the first of (4-6) sessions of chemotherapy. This treatment is to reduce the size and hopefully arrest/kill the tumor (which is the size of a half dollar) and then I can have surgery; this will be approximately mid to late August. Hey what a summer for me! The down side of the chemotherapy as most of you would know is hair loss, but I'm excited to see if I really do have a bowling ball for a head. I will let you know!
This has been quite a shock for most of you I know, but hey I'm optimisitc and faithful that all is in God's hands, and I'll come through this fire, more refined and...I'll still have this wild sense of humor!
Hugs and love, Debi
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