"A classic textbook case"

I am not an original anymore. I am a classic textbook case of a chemotherapy patient and all that is happening to me has happened to someone else before. Does that sound like it should give you comfort? Or put your mind at ease? No I didn't think so...
I had to go into the treatment center yesterday to have an 8 day check of my white blood cell count, it was incredibly low as the chemo is attacking everything good or bad so they decided I needed a boost of white cell injection called neuprogen. I have to have 3 injections the one on Wednesday, another Thursday, and the last one Friday. It is an injection no big deal, but the drive from southwest Riverside county to the middle of Orange county is an hour and half drive with traffic so I made my complaint that they have their medical offices out in the Temecula/Murrieta valley area why isn't the chemotherapy center up and running out there as well? Good question, they are working on that. This is exactly what I wasn't looking forward to was stressful driving for a 10 minute appointment everyday. I know with the over 400,000 residents that live out here someone would believe that we should have excellent medical care out here, right? Okay enough of my soapbox, I am always shooting for the little guy!

I will take my injections and know that my next chemo bags will hold something else called neulasta, which is supposed to boost as it tears down. Interesting concept I will let you know how that goes. So I guess you all see that I still have my sense of indignation so I must be feeling good. You are right I am doing okay and probably will forge ahead with some lobbying for the offices to open out here so the "many patients" of my oncologist (he said there were so many coming from here they could rent a part bust) don't you think it would be easier for two people to travel to an office than 40 to travel 3 hours out of their way?

Take care, Deb

Another day gone.

Sunday, it was a good day. I slept better than I had the night before, hopefully will sleep better tonight, I talked myself into expending some energy and walking the dogs around the 1 1/2 mile loop that I do with them. The girls can't seem to handle anymore than that but they are building up their reserves also.

I cleaned myself up and got a lot of laundry done, sheets, towels from people being here over the weekend and I even cleaned off the top of the dryer which is a big thing for me I keep my "extra" outfits there for a quick change but thought I should put things away. Good for me. I even had pizza for dinner last night and it tasted pretty good and all in all I am listening to my head when it screams, "lay down and take a nap!"

It will be good to have this weekend behind me, the biggest complaint that I have is the "full" feeling all the time but hey I drink the water, eat good food, so having a little fullness isn't so bad is it?

How is it we think we are invincible?

Those of you that have been down this lane/path will understand what I mean when I say I am feeling defunct. This is considered day 4 and as some said you will feel lethargic, uneasy, some said nauseous, nausea isn't there just deflation. Deflated is a good word, it means you are still in there but have no gumption to do anything. As long as I do nothing I don't feel bad, but I don't feel good, but with that comes the dreaded guilt of being non-productive. I guess that will go away over time, eh?

I am not walking around the house singing like I normally do, oh yes some days that is what I do I sing at the top of my lungs and as some of you know, those are some big lungs I have! Generally I am okay just not wanting to "use" up my energy as I see over the past two days that I did overuse yesterday and I guess today then I should store up more reserves. So that is what I am doing today just storing and reeling myself in, that's it for now maybe tomorrow I will be more talkative!

Hugs, Deb

The one day after...

The first day of any treatment will be met with apprehension, curiosity, and just down right uneasiness. All of these and more were mine yesterday. We started the day with our regular Wednesday morning breakfast albeit way out of our normal breakfast route as we wanted to be close to the treatment sight and away from traffic jams so I could be on time. My procedure was to be 4 hours the first time as they like to give one of the chemo drugs slower the first time to watch for any "side effects". They could have just said they were looking for a patient to go into anaphylactic shock I would have known what to be looking for, but I wasn't really paying attention when they were describing a tightening in the throat, heaviness on my chest. I had some of the tightening of the throat and dryness but put that down to the anti-nausea meds and the additional jolt of steroids they gave me first. That first drug took 3 1/2 hours to drip (but next time they said they will be able to go alot faster like only 1 3/4 hours) and then the next chemo drug took 45 minutes and then they did hydration which I didn't have to finish as I drank while I sat there for 6 hours over 90 ounces of water. Needless to say I could have swam home but took the 1:45 minute ride in the car. The gals kept me laughing and munching on snacks on the way home and my motion band was shocking away so I didn't get any car sickness.

All in all I am doing okay, I keep thinking a shoe is going to drop but I know that I am being held up and I will prevail all in one piece. As my mom is famous for saying "this too shall pass!" I love her sayings and her outlook! Today I have had to stay on the steroids but they make me very nervy and then I tend to crash about 4 hours into them but I am trying today to stay away from caffiene to see if that is hindering the process. I experiment all the time with me.

Today I am going to the hairdresser and having my hair cut down to about 3/4 inch all around to get used to no heighth on my big head and try to get used to the "roundness" of it. Then in about 10 days I will have her shave it completely to go rogue as I call it as the rule of thumb for this chemo plan is 14 days out from your first treatment your hair will be going if not gone. Why wait, I really must start being careful for what I ask for...I have been for about the past 6 months been very unhappy with how my hair looks, no not the day Tena does it but when I am working with and the last couple of time sitting in Tena's chair I have said "just shave it all off!" Well here goes my chance, hopefully I will like it. The last time I had breast cancer I had been complaining only to myself mind you that I was lopsided on the right side well that cancer took care of that so you see what I mean? Have to be careful for what you ask for, it comes to you in funny ways.

For a first chemo treatment they said I survived realtively well, we'll see how that goes over the next few days, I am losing my some tasting ability but that is to be expected. Each day will bring a new experience and hopefully I will meet each one with the strength and openess that all of your prayers are sending me! More later, have to run, Deb

The big day has arrived!

Hi there. Just wanted to pop in and say hello let you all know how much I enjoy the thoughts and prayers and good wishes! You all are so good to me. Tomorrow morning I meet my "gals" and we drive to Orange for my first treatment! How exciting, NOT. Although I must look on the positive side and know that I am not in control of this, God is and with His guiding hands the doctors will be able to treat this.

I thank you all again for checking in and looking after me. The cards, the prayers, thoughts and wishes and just general good vibes are much appreciated! More tomorrow!

Deb

Hey it's Friday! Have a great weekend all, I am escaping to San Diego to rest relax and visit some friends and family.

I received the report on my PET scan, no other "spots" except for the one (drats!) and a little brightness at my L5 which they think is inflammation from my RECENT back surgery, (really, how astute of them). So onto chemotherapy next Weds and we go from there. I have purchased my "shopping list" and received the drugs from the pharmacy so I am all set to take on this bad boy, will I be singing another song next week at this time? Only those of you that have been through it can advise me on that one.

Craig will be flying in for a week on June 9, so he will be here for the second session and the second visit with the Plastic Surgeon (yes I know one set of treatment at a time, please). I will post an update next week and let you know how I do with my first session of cytoxan and taxotere! Aren't you just on the edge of your seat????

And how do you say...confinement!

I am radioactive for the next 12 hours! This morning I went in for a PET scan, was delivered to the lab by my trusty friends Janese and Karen. We sat in the waiting room after I drank some "tasty" drink that left a metallic aftertaste and waited for my name to be called. And it was, the technician, Oscar was nice and explained to me that my friends can't be with me as after he administers the isotopes, I will be "hot" and giving off radiation! So they went to get coffee and I sat in a darkened room (they like you to be resting as the isotopes gather to whatever you are doing reading they go to your eyes, listening to music they travel to your ears) and waited for the next "drink". You cannot imagine how long that hour and a half is...

I was escorted into the PET scan room and was shown the "tube" which was wider than a MRI tube (by 4 inches) and yes it was shorter but for my closterphobia it was a challenge because of course "I thought I would be able maintain". Right. I did not have to be let out and I did successfully complete the scan but not for my body screaming inside to GET OUT! That's done and we await the results, should be Thursday. All I could think of afterwards was "and I thought I was going to be able to have my body accept chemotherapy now?" Yeh, I was being my proverbial self trying to fit 10 pounds into a 3 pound bag. I'm learning, I'm learning.

That's it for tonight and thanks so much for all your thoughts and wishes and prayers!

The second chronicle of many

Hi all,

So my day was quite a whirlwind of information, teetering on overload around 3 PM. Really nice caring professionals just A LOT to absorb and process. The upshot is that the chemotherapy will start next Wednesday, something about too much running stressful and maybe just a bit of radioactivity in me and too many patients in the chemo room for me to be exposed to my "glow".

So for now we have eaten dinner and checked into the hotel and will await the 6 AM call for a 7 AM PET scan and then back to Temecula to do my shopping of vitamins, supplements, protein shakes and goodies.

More on me later this week! Deb

The beginning...AGAIN

So, I am still kind of shell shocked about my news. After 10 years of being a Breast Cancer survivor, I found a mass and yes after tests and biopsies I have cancer...AGAIN! No no I am not angry or perplexed or stunned or (you fill in the rest). I know that alot of you already know that I had back problems earlier this year which ended with a discectomy/decompression, from which I have no more pain running down my leg or in my back. And to top it all off, Craig is living and working in Virginia (as he was laid off from BAE in early Jan).

I want to be able to communicate with everyone and let you all know what is going on, but honestly like anyone going through this process (AGAIN or even the first time) communication is one of the last, but most important, things on your mind! That is why I started this blog, to keep everyone up to date and try to answer any of your questions as I am able to. You are welcome to post anything you want, questions, comments, thoughts, prayers, I will accept and cherish each and everyone of them.

This new finding was found just 3 weeks ago, the diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound found the "unspecified suspicious mass" and it was determined that a biopsy was needed. I was convinced it was going to be a staph infection, yeah right, and the immediate finding was Invasive Carcinoma. I met with the surgeon last Tues (5/5) where we discussed that we "found it early" so they think (although it is still growing) and that surgery was imminent but could be delayed due to chemotherapy FIRST. Yes we met with the Oncologist that same afternoon only to be told that it was a very nasty, agressive cancer (that being the bad news) and that hopefully, it will respond to treatment just as agressively (and that is yet to be seen). That being said, I will meet with the Chemo team tomorrow morning, get my Chemo training, meet with the Plastic surgeon and then a mammogram; how exciting! The next morning promptly at 7 I will have a PET Scan to see if there is any other site (more on that after reports are in). After that we (my team advocate) will have breakfast and then at 11, I will start the first of (4-6) sessions of chemotherapy. This treatment is to reduce the size and hopefully arrest/kill the tumor (which is the size of a half dollar) and then I can have surgery; this will be approximately mid to late August. Hey what a summer for me! The down side of the chemotherapy as most of you would know is hair loss, but I'm excited to see if I really do have a bowling ball for a head. I will let you know!

This has been quite a shock for most of you I know, but hey I'm optimisitc and faithful that all is in God's hands, and I'll come through this fire, more refined and...I'll still have this wild sense of humor!

Hugs and love, Debi