I thought I was mature, I mean I'm 56, married almost 25 years to the same guy, raised two boys who are both out of the teen years and in college, had cancer twice, back surgery and other operations, a few broken bones, and a myriad of job assignments throughout my career which spanned 33 years, what more do I need to be mature??
Ah, the "maturity" is to the reconstructed area and the fact that the area is not matured enough at this point to have my next surgery for Phase 2 of my remodelling. I guess my body just heals differently or more slowly than the "norm". I never denied I wasn't normal. Really, seriously, me normal? No, that is not the operative word in my vocabulary to ever describe myself. I have way too much fun laughing at myself and finding the humor in life to be considered "normal".
The upshot of my rant here is that my surgery has been pushed to March, hopefully around the 12Th but I am not writing that in ink until I hear from the surgeon. I know it's important to wait until the area is "ready" for a reshaping but I desperately need to move forward and get a job and start living again instead of "waiting for...".
I feel as if all of last year was about some part of waiting, whether it be waiting to find out what was wrong with my back, finding out that I had a severe herniated disc, then waiting for the discectomy surgery, heal from that, then physical therapy then find the tumor, have it diagnosed then wait for chemo treatment to start then wait for my system to recover from that to have "the" surgery and reconstruction. This all gives illness or breast cancer a voice/validation and as I have said before; no validation is allowed! Also I told everyone last year when I was diagnosed "I do not have time for any of this! I had things to do, moves to coordinate and a life. I didn't have a year to give to this disease and I won't!
Time to renew, breath deeply, listen to that inner voice, remove all hindrances, think positively, do not allow old stresses to invoke their hold, get out there and grab hold of a new day, new lifestyle!
The outlook is good, I just feel hindered and I am one who runs freely and fast!
Hugs, Deb
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Do I really have to?
Isn't that just the perfect question to be asking? Do I have to? YES is the answer but not without the yammering of me! This unpacking of the boxes hasn't really taken all that long if you count the time out for Christmas, New Year's, visits from family members and my birthday. But just the same I seem to be the only one doing, well doing the lion's share of it anyway. Our mantel did get anchored to the wall the day before my birthday and that was really all I wanted. Was it an ordeal to get it done, of course it was...way too many chiefs in this family and everyone having an idea of the "best possible way" to accomplish it. It's up and it looks great and I have things on it, so on to the next task - placing everything that got unpacked. Easier to unpack the boxes, break them down, take them to recycling (a 20 minute drive each way) then decide where all this stuff goes! My desk is the last clear space and it is now topped with all the "stuff" that was in the built in desk and then some but I am slowly going thru and weeding out and filing (can you imagine?) some things and trying to get myself ready for tax returns. No no I am not doing my tax return, I have always left ours for someone to prepare.
My health; is good,I am working around the house here not really exercising but lifting boxes, emptying them, taking the stairs (4 floors), I feel pretty good. I haven't really been worn out since the snow fall weekend although little chinks in the plan or day that sway me the wrong way are met with some resistance. So I guess I do tire and then I rest, eat something and move forward. This doesn't have to get done in a short amount of time but it does help me to feel settled and then I feel lonesome for my friends and family in Southern CA. I also want to get this house settled so I can move forward here and "branch out" to concetrating on things other than myself, like a job or at the very least some volunteer work, maybe a job, settle into that and see how it goes, eh?
Just a quick update, let me hear from you, thehrdys@verizon.net
Hugs, Deb
My health; is good,I am working around the house here not really exercising but lifting boxes, emptying them, taking the stairs (4 floors), I feel pretty good. I haven't really been worn out since the snow fall weekend although little chinks in the plan or day that sway me the wrong way are met with some resistance. So I guess I do tire and then I rest, eat something and move forward. This doesn't have to get done in a short amount of time but it does help me to feel settled and then I feel lonesome for my friends and family in Southern CA. I also want to get this house settled so I can move forward here and "branch out" to concetrating on things other than myself, like a job or at the very least some volunteer work, maybe a job, settle into that and see how it goes, eh?
Just a quick update, let me hear from you, thehrdys@verizon.net
Hugs, Deb
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Where did we get all these acquisitions?
Hi all,
I thought I would have been able to give you a thumbs up and all is rolling well by now but I am still unpacking boxes and sorting where things should go. But those are the joys of moving, from a 3400 square foot home into a 2300 one, eh? We are almost there, just about 4 boxes left to unpack and decide what gets thrown out and what stays, I am at the point where I don't care what stays I just don't want to unpack one more piece of wrapped anything! Can any of you relate?
The biggest job now is where the paintings/artwork will hang and that will take some time as a lot of those we need to live with and see what will go where. The household goods arrived just before the "blizzard of 2009" for the DC area so we were stuck inside and outside trying to get our cars unburied from 21" of snow and manuver around the roads. It did give me time to do nothing but unpack BUT had to locate the winter gear so it did make somewhat a mess trying to remember which box held the gloves and stuff, lol. My old Expedition did very well even if it isn't an AWD, she took it like a champ. Now back to my tasks of making this into our home, that is coming along nicely and I do have to say that Craig and Kevin were very helpful in placing furniture and deciding where "the stuff" should go, no no most of it did not end up at the dump! We did what we needed to do to get to Christmas and then worked our way out of boxes for the New Year and Craig's brother Rog's visit on his way back to Houston. We did visit the Recycling center a couple of times and it is quite pleasant, although Craig did say that the dropping off of the 3 foot high pile of boxes was a lot easier than loading them!
Right now we are enjoying Brian's arrival (6:50 AM today) so we will have some fun here visiting and maybe doing some sightseeing. We are settling into the cold weather and keeping ourselves warm and dry the house is 22 years old so it does have it's drafty places but we are learning those and attempting to compensate with blankets and fires going in the fireplace! I will forward some pictures soon, my camera died on me so I have pics of what it looked like with the boxes here but haven't been able to find my charger to take the finished pictures but they will follow in a couple of days.
I have been very fortunate as a dear friend of mine Mary, came by on the 22nd and 23rd of December and just unpacked while I put things away, THANK YOU MARY! It does help when you have someone that has done this about 18 times to step in and help get it done. My health continues to improve albeit I am not resting all that much I do about 9 hours per day of unpacking and then I collapse for about 9 hours or use them for "getting the things I had to leave behind". and then sleep for 6! Although my energy is not where I put it last year at this time, I am doing pretty well and I needed to slow down anyway, right? I am still scheduled to be back in the San Diego area the end of February so hopefully while I am there and recuperating from (hopefully) the last surgery I can see some of you that are in that area.
I am sending you all thanks and hugs to all of you,
I thought I would have been able to give you a thumbs up and all is rolling well by now but I am still unpacking boxes and sorting where things should go. But those are the joys of moving, from a 3400 square foot home into a 2300 one, eh? We are almost there, just about 4 boxes left to unpack and decide what gets thrown out and what stays, I am at the point where I don't care what stays I just don't want to unpack one more piece of wrapped anything! Can any of you relate?
The biggest job now is where the paintings/artwork will hang and that will take some time as a lot of those we need to live with and see what will go where. The household goods arrived just before the "blizzard of 2009" for the DC area so we were stuck inside and outside trying to get our cars unburied from 21" of snow and manuver around the roads. It did give me time to do nothing but unpack BUT had to locate the winter gear so it did make somewhat a mess trying to remember which box held the gloves and stuff, lol. My old Expedition did very well even if it isn't an AWD, she took it like a champ. Now back to my tasks of making this into our home, that is coming along nicely and I do have to say that Craig and Kevin were very helpful in placing furniture and deciding where "the stuff" should go, no no most of it did not end up at the dump! We did what we needed to do to get to Christmas and then worked our way out of boxes for the New Year and Craig's brother Rog's visit on his way back to Houston. We did visit the Recycling center a couple of times and it is quite pleasant, although Craig did say that the dropping off of the 3 foot high pile of boxes was a lot easier than loading them!
Right now we are enjoying Brian's arrival (6:50 AM today) so we will have some fun here visiting and maybe doing some sightseeing. We are settling into the cold weather and keeping ourselves warm and dry the house is 22 years old so it does have it's drafty places but we are learning those and attempting to compensate with blankets and fires going in the fireplace! I will forward some pictures soon, my camera died on me so I have pics of what it looked like with the boxes here but haven't been able to find my charger to take the finished pictures but they will follow in a couple of days.
I have been very fortunate as a dear friend of mine Mary, came by on the 22nd and 23rd of December and just unpacked while I put things away, THANK YOU MARY! It does help when you have someone that has done this about 18 times to step in and help get it done. My health continues to improve albeit I am not resting all that much I do about 9 hours per day of unpacking and then I collapse for about 9 hours or use them for "getting the things I had to leave behind". and then sleep for 6! Although my energy is not where I put it last year at this time, I am doing pretty well and I needed to slow down anyway, right? I am still scheduled to be back in the San Diego area the end of February so hopefully while I am there and recuperating from (hopefully) the last surgery I can see some of you that are in that area.
I am sending you all thanks and hugs to all of you,
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