It has been two weeks since my "second stage surgery" and I am feeling pretty good. Not able to run a mile or even walk two but I am feeling better each day.
I had a visit with my oncologist, who said I look pretty good for "all that I have gone through" and he added "you have been through it, eh?". He took some blood and is awaiting the operative and pathology reports for any further opinion but generally sent me on my way and asked to see me in 6 months. I am thinking about that for now as I wouldn't have to start with another one back in VA but then maybe I should.
I met with my surgeon on Weds last and she has "cleared me" for travel but not for any heavy lifting, no big exercise program, no dog walking, so for now I get to go home to my husband and dogs but can't do anything there either. That's okay for when I do alot of anything like walking 7 blocks or laundry that is enough for my chest, not necessarily my whole body but it does make my chest swell and therefore become somewhat painful, so I rest! My pathology report stated no malignancy on the left side from the tissue so GREAT NEWS in that! I could consider this a partial mastectomy as the amount of tissue and the fact that I opted for the nipple not being replaced makes that "drive by surgery" fall into that category. My question to her was why do I have a pucker where there wasn't one before on the reconstructed side? Would this go away or was I going to have that "fixed" eventually, (you all know how I feel about surgeries and hospitals, they are fine for others not for me!) no she said it will work out and if it doesn't then maybe in a couple of years I should do something about it. My surgeon said"she didn't know how to talk to me sometimes!" I said speak to me as if I were a colleague, she explained that some of the procedure was done due to my "radiated skin", again with that? Then she explained that each time the radiated area is opened it is like it is a new fresh wound area and "they" are not sure how it is going to react, as she had to replace an implant and remove some skin due to an abcess she made an exec decision and wanted to leave the rest of the area alone. The discussion went on with her being confused as to why I wanted to know such minutia of the surgery? Uh, here's the problem, doctors, nurses, resource groups, when you are diagnosed with breast cancer demand that you learn everything you can about the disease, the treatment, the procedures, the recovery, and then when you have learned too much they want to "rein you in"??? I get confused on that part, tell me why you have chosen to do or not do in this case what you said you would and I can understand, a fair request right? She did explain it and we left on good terms and she is one hell of a surgeon and I recommend her to anyone in the area, God forbid any of you would need an oncology/plastic surgeon.
I had a chance to spend some time with a dear friend that has recently completed her treatment and as we talked we spoke about how it is important to stay positive and to be around those that aren't as positive or feeling some depression makes us question why we are at a such a positive point? Our discussion went over the various stages we have gone through already and what some of those other stages might be and then I was texting her and came up with this which I wanted to share with you all: Know in your heart that you have come through "survived" if you will. But isn't that our character from the beginning to survive, thrive so we wonder when others are negative, don't question yourself. You are a great person/gal and only you know what you are going through...just like when we were raising kids we are in this together!
I am finishing up visiting with family and friends that I haven't seen in years and friends that I have had weekly visits with, some will come see me on the east coast (I hope) and then some I will have to wait til I come back to San Diego to see. It is bittersweet that I leave on Wednesday evening but all things come full circle so I expect this circle to keep rolling around for a few more years to come.
Take care and I will keep my blog up and running and will let you all know how I am doing weekly after the Easter weekend!
Hugs, Deb
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